The Hangover and Other Misadventures
by PaperCutVictim
Summary: Now a collection of hopefully humorous one-shots starring Megurine Luka. Will generally have a Miku x Luka flavoring, so you have been warned.
1. The Hangover

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Vocaloids or anything related to them save for this piece of fanfiction.

Updated 6/21/11: Found a few typos and spacing errors and fixed 'em.

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><p>Title: The Hangover<p>

Summary: Luka wakes up in her bed with a skull-splitting headache and it's all downhill from there...

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><p>The first thing Luka was aware of upon waking up was that she had a skull-splitting headache. She groaned, one hand slapping over her forehead, and sourly hoping that whatever death metal band had used her head in their concert last night, she hoped they'd enjoyed it. The sunlight that warmly trickled its way in through the curtains was entirely too bright, and unfortunately, there had yet to be invented a remote control that she could click to lower the brightness of the sun. Luka covered her face, futilely trying to hide from the morning (well, she <em>hoped<em> it was morning) light. It never worked, of course, but there was no harm in trying...

Slowly, she sat up. Beneath her was the familiar comfort of her bed in the house shared by the Vocaloids, the covers over her body in a warm, comfy way that she would have appreciated if her head were not feeling as if it were a veteran of several Euro league soccer (_Football,_ she had the presence of mind to correct herself) matches. Luka began to suspect that she was hung over. Why was she hung over though? She tried to recall the events of last night, but could not get a coherent memory at all. Luka vaguely recalled drinking, at least. She usually wasn't one for alcohol, though having some wine or champagne with a nice dinner was certainly not something she was ever opposed to. Besides, some things in life, good or bad, called for indulging in a glass of wine every so often.

Sake.

_Oh God,_ Luka thought, cringing. The _sake_. Lily and Meiko had brought back _sake_, of all things. There was a reason why sake was kept scarce in the Vocaloid household. Aside from the fact they had several minors, they had Meiko and Lily in the house, and frankly, _neither_ of those two could be trusted once they were hammered... which Luka knew was going to be inevitable once that bottle had been opened. And after Haku had been invited to drink with them after timidly asking if she could have some, Luka _knew_ the night would not end well.

The last time a similar occurrence had happened, it had been nothing less than a disaster. Luka, who had indulged in a few cups, had felt her very pleasant buzz go away in under three seconds. Rin and Len had both been slipped some by Lily and had tried to drunkenly drive their roadroller (and thank God they had ended up stumbling over each other before they could go anywhere; she did not want to imagine what catastrophe they would have wrought had they been able to get the thing started), Haku, sad drunk that she was, had ended up drunkenly sobbing out enough angst to fill up several albums' worth of emo songs (Luka vaguely wondered if she had ever considered going into that genre), and Meiko and Lily had engaged in multiple drinking contests that had cleaned out all the alcohol in the house, including the rest of the sake (and Haku had ended up crying about _that _too). Long before the end of the night, the living room and kitchen had ended up looking like a war zone, thanks to their increasingly inane contests.

Each contest ended indecisively, with the two idiots barreling for the bathroom, and the sounds of retching to be heard from within.

The bathroom had reeked of vomit. For a _week._ A. Whole. Freaking. _Week._

Seeing how allowing disaster to unfold before her eyes once more had _not _been an option, Luka had decided to be the human sacrifice and taken it upon herself to snatch the large bottle from Lily's hand and drink that damn thing dry.

And for her selflessness, she had been rewarded with perhaps the worst hangover she had ever experienced.

_Note to self: Next time you have the urge to do something heroic, __**don't.**_

She swallowed, feeling her throat uncomfortably dry and scratchy, as if she had been talking a lot. Actually, come to think of it, Luka vaguely remembered speaking at great length, but she wasn't quite sure what the topic was. She also didn't remember who her audience was, but she was sure it had to be those two other idiots and Haku, maybe Gakupo as well. She remembered him wandering by while she'd been drinking. She'd been drinking straight out of the bottle like some damn drunkard too... Even Haku, who had been eying the bottle wistfully the whole time, didn't do that, despite being the resident alcoholic.

Ugh... She was at least glad that her liver was strong enough to handle the abuse, but she _definitely_ would not be doing that again anytime soon, if ever.

Luka winced as her head throbbed again painfully. "Aspirin," she muttered quietly.

"Yeah, might be a good idea," a voice mumbled softly.

"Mm-hmm," Luka agreed.

...

_Wait, what?_

Luka whirled toward the source of the voice, turning a wild look on the lump lying beside her in bed underneath the covers. Her eyes stared dumbly as the lump shifted, the covers spilling off of the person they had previously concealed, sleepily rubbing her eyes before she stretched and yawned. It was a long while before her brain was able to connect the image with a name: Hatsune Miku.

_Oh... My... God..._

Miku turned a sleepily hooded gaze toward her, but the playful glint in her teal eyes was unmistakable. "Good morning, Luka~ Mm, so this is what the 'morning after' feeling is like?" she asked coyly, her voice pitched in a soft purr. "Feels nice~"

Words failed her. Luka stared dumbly at her, her mouth opening and closing several times in a convulsive fashion without any sound coming forth. "Wh-What...?" she managed to choke out. "H-Hatsune... san... wh-what are you..."

"You really don't remember?" Miku asked in a mock pout. "But you were _so_ good last night~"

"Wh-Wh-What?" Luka exclaimed, the color draining from her face as she backed away. "B-B-But I... I-I-I- KYAA!"

Luka had retreated so much that she ended up gracelessly tumbling off the bed, the back of her head smacking painfully against the thankfully carpeted floor of her room. She was vaguely aware of three wincing Mikus peering down at her, their images spinning around in a manner that really wasn't helping her dizziness.

"Wow, that really looked like it hurt," the Mikus commented unhelpfully. Strangely, they all spoke with one voice and sounded like one person. "You okay, Luka?"

In reply, Luka groaned weakly, "Stop the room, I wanna get off..."

"Eee... Want me to get you the aspirin?"

Luka did not answer, still dazed from the impact. The Mikus slowly settled into one coherent image of Miku looking down at her, still wincing but also gazing at her with concern. Luka took in the image of the girl with her teal hair down from her trademark twintails and...

"Hatsune-san...?" Luka began slowly, her left eye beginning to twitch. "Why... are you wearing my shirt...?"

Miku looked down at the baggy white night shirt she was wearing, a blue cartoon of a tuna over the chest. Returning her gaze to Luka, she explained, "Well, you were in a really bad state last night, so after I took you to bed, I stayed to make sure nothing bad happened to you. And I didn't really wanna go to my room and then back, and I didn't wanna go to sleep in my regular clothes, so I figured I'd change into one of yours." Miku smiled happily as she looked back down at the shirt. "It's really comfy! I should wear these to bed instead of pajamas all the time! It's really baggy around the chest though..." She frowned as she cupped her chest through the shirt.

Reddening, Luka looked away, _not_ needing to see Miku fondling herself while wearing _her_ clothes. "H-Hatsune-san, please have a sense of shame! W-We may both be girls, but that is _not_ something you should be doing in front of someone else!"

"Eh? Well, I don't mind if it's you, Luka~" Miku purred.

_And just what is that supposed to mean!_ Luka's brain demanded.

Well, then again... it wasn't like she'd ever admit to it out loud, but she wasn't _entirely _complaining... Indeed, her own gaze might have lingered on Miku for longer than appropriate at times... but still! And seeing how she _still_ had a headache, this was definitely not something she needed to deal with!

"And besides," the teal-haired girl pointed out. "You're not exactly in a position to be talking about a sense of shame."

The older Vocaloid had looked up in confusion when she noticed how pointedly Miku was staring at her. Or at least... several inches below her face. Blinking, Luka looked down at herself. Her eyes widened as she gasped with horror. She was clad in the clothes she wore last night, her usual clothing except the buttons of her top had fallen dangerously undone to the point that only her pink lace bra was keeping her from giving Miku an eyeful of her goodies, and the tumble had also made her skirt ride up almost to her waist.

"Wow," Miku breathed, clearly in awe. "Those really are natural, aren't they?"

With a scream of red-faced embarrassment, Luka curled into a ball, her arms folded protectively over her chest. "Don't look at me!" she screeched in a voice that her fans would never have been able to recognize as hers.

"Why not?" Miku asked, genuinely confused. "You're pretty to look at. Well, more like sexy actually. Ooh, wow, I can see your panties from here. They're a lot cuter than I thought they'd be; I always figured you'd wear sexy string underwear and stuff. Not that I'm complaining~"

The perverted leer in the younger girl's voice was just too much for her. "Don't talk like that!" Luka screamed, her face flushing an even deeper red than before. "And don't smile like that, you depraved little girl!"

"Little girl, am I?" Miku said in a syrupy sweet voice. Luka turned her gaze up to her to see Miku fixing her with a gaze that matched her suddenly silky voice perfectly. "You didn't seem to think I was a little girl last night, Lu-ka-san~"

Luka paled. Had she...? No, there was no way. ...Could she? Part of the reason why she hated getting drunk was because she knew she tended to get a tad on the frisky side... If Lily and Meiko could be believed. And in this case, she desperately hoped they were wrong.

"It felt _really_ good~" Miku purred, a corner of her mouth pulled into a seductive smirk.

The older woman stared at her, her face as white as a sheet, images of being charged with assaulting a minor and statutory rape filling her head. Seeing this, the younger girl backed down, smiling apologetically as she waved her hands in front of herself.

"I'm just kidding, Luka! Relax! You just started touching me a little, that's all."

"Touching you... how...?" Luka asked, dreading how long a prison sentence she would serve for contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile.

Miku shrugged. "Nothing too bad. Just rubbing my thighs and arms and stuff, that's all."

"Oh... okay." Luka breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness... It looked like those two idiotic alcoholics were just messing with her when they would joke about her "horny drunk" tendencies...

"I was hoping you'd go further though," Miku said, folding her arms over her chest with a pout.

A furious red flush stained the older woman's cheeks. "L-Let's not think about that..."

"Yeah, you're right. There's always next time, after all!"

Luka's eye twitched. "N-Next time...?" she asked weakly.

"You're probably hungry, huh?" Miku asked, oblivious to the dread in her voice. She hopped off the bed, practically skipping out the door as she called over her shoulder, "I'll fix some breakfast for you!"

Before Luka could get a single word in, the girl had already gone out the door. She sighed, shaking her head. "Geez..."

A shower would probably have to wait and besides, a quick sniff of herself confirmed that she didn't smell too bad. Well, aside from the fact she'd been dragged into bed sleeping in the clothes she wore last night, which smelled as if they had been dunked in sake. That would have to be taken care of. Within a few minutes, Luka had changed into a pair of pink boy shorts with a white tank top, deciding that she wasn't really intending to go out anywhere today. Besides, with the hangover that she was currently under, just the _idea_ of going out somewhere made her feel queasy.

She headed downstairs and to the kitchen, where Miku was already busy cooking up what looked like pancakes. She had to admit it smelled good too, but she had a headache to take care of first. Luka glanced at the table to see that the younger girl had already thoughtfully set out a glass of water and two aspirin for her. She gratefully took them, gulping down the whole glass and going for a refill. Sighing with relief that the aspirin already seemed to be at work, she went to set her glass on the table. At that time, Len began walking in.

"Good morning, Len," she greeted him warmly.

Ordinarily, he would greet her back with a smile, occasionally blushing lightly as he did, seeing how he had a mild crush on her. Today, he turned a deer-in-the-headlights look on her, his face turning fire-truck red.

"G-G-Good morning, Luka-onee-sama!" he exclaimed, his voice overly loud and addressing a point at least a foot over Luka's head.

_Onee-sama?_ Luka raised an eyebrow. Normally, he referred to her as "Luka-nee" or "Luka-nee-chan," but...

Her thoughts trailed off as Rin skipped into the kitchen, singing the word "orange" to herself repeatedly as she did. Her humming came to an abrupt halt as she caught sight of Luka, and her reaction completely mirrored Len's.

"G-G-Good morning, Luka-onee-sama!" she exclaimed, her voice overly loud and addressing a point at least a foot over Luka's head.

Luka stared at the Kagamine twins, her eyes shifting between them as they continued to avoid her gaze, carrying on their business with visible discomfort. Was it something she'd said...?

She felt a sinking feeling start in her stomach... Come to think of it, she _did _feel like she had spoken at great length about something...

When the twins had left, Luka turned to Miku, who had been humming to herself the whole time while cooking. Slowly, she said, "Hatsune-san...?"

"Hm?" came the absent reply.

"Did... I talk about anything last night...?"

Flinch. "Uhhhhhhhhhh..." The hesitant way that she dragged out the syllable did not bode well. "Well, um..."

It was at this moment that Gakupo came in. He grinned at Luka, raising his hand in casual greeting. "Yo, good to see you're up. You feeling okay? Never knew you could knock back so much at once! Or that you could talk that much either!"

She turned toward him, her expression full of dread though she remained silent. Her vocal chords had decided to completely fail her at the moment.

"But man," he said, scratching his cheek awkwardly as he flushed a light shade of pink. "I um... I didn't know you knew so much about..." He trailed off before averting his eyes and murmuring, "Um... never mind."

"What...?" Luka said weakly after his back as he turned and walked out a little bit faster than his usual leisurely gait.

She turned a traumatized look toward Kaito as he walked in, the look on his face saying that he was hungry for some ice cream. Gumi was walking in at the same time, waving energetically and calling out, "Yo, Miku-chan! Glad to see you're-"

Both newcomers spotted Luka at the same time, their relaxed expressions quickly shifting into solemn masks of utmost respect. As one, Kaito and Gumi bowed deeply toward her and shouted, "Thank you very much, Megurine-sensei!"

"Megurine... sensei...?" Luka's normally rich and sensual voice was now just a pathetically weak shell of its former self.

Straightening into a position that would have put a British royal guard to shame, Gumi shouted, "I have learned much from your lessons last night, Megurine-sensei!"

"Yes!" Kaito agreed enthusiastically, straightening into a similar position. "Thank you very much for your teachings, Megurine-sensei! We will remember your lessons for as long as we live!"

"W-Wait..." Luka continued weakly. "What... What did I say last night...?"

Miku piped up, "Well..." but just as quickly fell silent, turning a fierce red. She pretended instead to be very busy with making sure the pancakes she was making for Luka were just right.

Luka felt like crawling into a corner and whimpering. Just what had she said last night...?

Her traumatized expression suddenly melted to give way to a much darker look, mostly concealed as she lowered her head, her bangs covering her eyes in shadow.

_Someone _was to blame for this...

"Ne." Her voice was back to its usual tones, but with a definite undertone of menace. "Where are Meiko and Lily?"

Miku finished loading the pancakes onto a plate, still not looking at Luka as she kept her attention on her task. "Mm, probably crashed out on the sofa in the living room still. Why?"

"No reason," Luka replied in the same voice.

Behind her, Miku heard the refrigerator door open, the sound of something being removed, and then the door closing.

"I... have some business to take care of..." Luka said. "I'll be right back..."

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><p>The first thing that occurred to Lily was that her neck hurt. She winced, rubbing the offending spot with her fingers. A sofa, in retrospect, really was not the greatest of places to fall asleep on, but then, when drunk and tired, there really wasn't much choice on where one crashed out. There was a warm weight on top of her, and she looked down blearily to see that Meiko had fallen asleep on top of her. She sighed. This wasn't going to be good, considering Meiko could sleep like the dead after getting wasted. It wasn't like it was <em>that<em> bad though. Thanks to Luka crashing their fun and chugging down the sake herself, they'd needed to settle for the lager that was in the fridge. Still... it _was_ pretty funny to see Luka get herself completely and utterly trashed.

She grinned, remembering what she could of the events of last night. Luka had gotten completely wasted and had become extremely chatty and openly happy. In addition to her crackpot drunk tendencies, her horny drunk tendencies had come out in full force too, which Miku, who had been eying the older woman for some time, took full advantage of (and had earned herself a few thumbs up signs from the others). The pink-haired woman had spent most of the evening with an opportunistic Miku draped over her lap, fondling the girl as she slurred out various rather comedic tirades. Even Meiko and Lily, who had been sulking over the loss of the sake, came to enjoy themselves, and Luka's drunken antics soon attracted the rest of their household.

The younger members had taken full advantage of Luka's inebriation to ask her all sorts of things that she would never have answered if she were sober, and the Kagamine twins had been particularly intrigued by some of the ideas that Luka had spewed as additions for their roadroller ("Spinning rims? Why didn't we think of that?" they had asked each other.). Then Gumi, pervert that she was, had asked Luka to speak in detail about the ah... "ecchi things", as she had phrased it, that could happen in a bedroom. Luka had started off by correcting her in that they did not necessarily need to take place in a bedroom, and then had swung into a full on lecture where her speech went from hopelessly slurred to perfectly enunciated phrases, her voice a tone of utmost seriousness.

While it had initially been comical, Luka had been so absolutely, horrifically in detail that long before the end, the only one that did not have their face burning bright red with embarrassment had been Luka herself...

_Hell, even __**I **__didn't know some of those things..._

She vaguely wondered how that girl was doing right now. She certainly had to be experienced with hangovers, seeing how she often ended up hanging out with her and Meiko, but a whole bottle of sake that big in that span of time? That had to be something... It was funny, because now that she had thought about Luka, the air around her suddenly had started to smell like tuna...

_...Huh?_

A shadow fell over her, and Lily blearily looked up. The alcohol and sleep-induced haze over her cleared immediately as she saw the image of wrath itself in the form of a pink-haired woman, her shadowed eyes two pinpoints of blazing turquoise fire and the very air around her reeking of tuna and murderous intent.

"L-Luka..." Lily greeted, gulping nervously. She poked at Meiko's side, trying to get her to please wake the hell up. "Hehe... wh-what's up...?"

Luka did not answer. Instead, she began to slowly raise her hands over her head, wielding a very ominously large fish. Lily gulped again, poking Meiko a bit harder and a bit more frantically. It was probably safe to say that any hangover Luka may have had was currently overridden by an extremely powerful killing intent.

"N-Now, let's be reasonable..." Lily said in her most reasonable tones (which did not come out reasonable in the least, and just sounded more along the lines of a voice squeaking "Oh God, please don't kill me!"). Her finger was now jabbing very hard at Meiko's side, and the sleeping woman whirred out a response.

Luka's response to Lily's plea was to let out a bloodcurdling roar as the fish came crashing down onto them. With a desperate, fearful shriek, Lily managed to roll out of the way in time with Meiko, landing at the furious woman's feet. The impact luckily jarred the other woman out of her slumber, and the killing intent in the room was so powerful, it kicked Meiko's fight-or-flight instincts immediately into overdrive. The fish came crashing down on their heads again, each of them dodging in a different direction as it slammed into the floor, the impact sending a shockwave through the whole house. Meiko and Lily regrouped at a relatively safe distance from the enraged Luka, Meiko trying to figure out just what the hell was going on and having a sinking feeling she knew, Lily trying futilely to reason with her.

"Hehe... C-C'mon now, Luka..." She grinned in a stupid "please don't hurt me" kind of way. "I-It wasn't that bad!" The grin fell. "...Was it?"

Luka turned toward them, her head lowered as she snarled in a low, murderous tone of voice, "Hold still... and it will end soon..."

She lifted her head, her eyes blazing wrathfully as she roared, "_HOLD STILL AND IT WILL END SOON!"_

The two women shrieked as they barely ducked under the large tuna Luka was wielding as a makeshift flail. They fled screaming from the room, their hangovers cured courtesy of sheer terror.

"_COME BACK HERE!"_ the voice of the pink-haired demon that had once been Megurine Luka boomed from behind them.

"Is it too late to say that we're sorry?" Lily cried. She figured this was a very, very, _very_ bad time to point out to Luka that she had drank that entire sake bottle of her own volition and wisely did not bring it up.

Nevertheless, a wild swing that swiped through the trailing strands of her long blonde hair came as her response.

"Oh God!" Meiko screamed in panic. "I don't wanna die now! I've still got a headache and I'd be all cross and I wouldn't get to enjoy the afterlife!"

"_THERE SHALL BE NO AFTERLIFE WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!"_

"AHHHHHHH!"

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><p>Rin stretched as she took in the sun's warm rays. It was a nice day out, she had reasoned, and frankly, after hearing what Luka-onee-sama had said last night, she didn't think she could look the older woman in the eye for a long while... Len was walking beside her as they made their way down the walkway away from the house. They shared a nervous glance, each thinking the same thing and knowing that they were doing this outing for the exact same reasons. Still, she supposed it wasn't so bad to be able to just spend some time together. After all, the Vocaloid house was not exactly a sprawling mansion, and there were quite a few occupants. In fact, she felt more relaxed already. Plus, with him around, there was no need for her to go outside alone.<p>

_It's nice to have a twin,_ she thought contentedly. She did not know that at the same time, Len was thinking the same thing.

The peaceful moment was shattered as the front door slammed open behind them. In shock, the Kagamine twins turned and gaped with eyes as wide as dinner plates as Meiko and Lily stampeded out of the house, the expression on their faces the very definition of abject terror.

"Run, Lily! She's gaining on us!"

"I'm running! I'm running!"

Hot on their heels was Megurine Luka... or at least, a murderous demon in the guise of Megurine Luka wielding a... fish. Granted, a very large fish, but still...

"_COME BACK HERE AND GET WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!"_Luka shouted in a voice that would have brought the bravest men to their knees, quivering in terror.

The trio ran past them and out onto the sidewalk, the panicked screams and the flailing of a very large fish steadily fading as they moved further and further from the house. The Kagamine twins stared after them before sharing a glance. As one, they nodded and turned to go back inside.

_Who needs to go outside when you have a PS3?_ they reasoned to themselves.

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><p><em>Fin<em>

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><p>First Vocaloid fic I've ever written. XP I'm a rather new fan to the Vocaloids, so I don't really know how they're "supposed" to act, so I took a few liberties here and there (and everywhere). In case anyone noticed, I did borrow the idea of Luka getting drunk and spewing a long lecture on ecchi things from Azumanga Daioh (which I adore); I personally thought it'd be pretty funny to imagine Luka as that kind of drunk. XD And yes, I threw a dash of Luka x Miku in here. I happen to really like the pairing, sue me :P (no, please don't).<p>

If you've made it this far, please leave me a review and lemme know what you think. :D Constructive criticism is always welcome, and flames shall be stored for later use. 'Til next time! ^_^v


	2. Lyrical Content

So I had gotten the idea to continue the previous story... And while I was brainstorming, I happened to start listening to Tower... And then I remembered I always wanted to write a fic based on Tower... And then that idea took a nosedive into a truckload of crack... And then this came to be. XDDD Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except for this piece of fanfiction. /sadface

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><p>Title: Lyrical Content<p>

Summary: Following the success of her latest single "Tower", Luka finds out the hard way that the lyrical content might have given a few people the wrong idea...

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><p>It was a nice night, one of those rare nights where the temperature was just cool enough to feel nice and relaxing instead of being too hot or too cold. Luka enjoyed nights like these, and she smiled up at the twinkling stars above as she stood on the balcony of the Vocaloid house. It was a good night for thinking, if one so desired, but Luka did not feel the need to ponder any long, hard thoughts tonight. She'd finished recording a new single not too long ago, and she always liked to treat herself to some well-deserved rest and relaxation after working on a new project. "Tower" had been doing very well, getting good reviews from critics and also flying off the shelves, a fact her manager gleefully shared with her earlier in the week.<p>

There was a bit of a problem, however. The lyrics she'd used for the song had been sort of on the suicidal side, and it had alarmed the songstress to receive letters and emails from fans begging her not to end her life, and saying that the world would miss her if she were to go, etc., etc. While Luka had indeed hoped for a reaction from fans with her new song, she had not intended for it to be like _this_... Maybe for her next song, she mused, she would just make something light and humorous... Maybe. It wasn't exactly like she could control her inspirations.

A light breeze kicked up, tousling her hair as it passed through the pink locks. On a whim, Luka held her arms out at her sides, closing her eyes and enjoying the coolness passing over her skin as it-

"NO!"

Suddenly, Luka was pulled backwards, and her eyes shot open in surprise. Before she knew it, she was lying flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling with alarm as warm weights clamped down on her limbs, pinning her into a spread-eagled position. Wildly, she looked down at her restraints.

"Wh-What the-? What on earth are you all doing?" Luka incredulously demanded of her four captors.

The Kagamine twins had each seized one of her legs, Miku was pinning down her left arm, and Gumi had taken her right. All of them had also burst into tears as they held on for dear life, cheeks pressed against the respective limbs and causing the pink-haired woman to stare at them in mute shock.

"Don't go, Luka-nee-chan! Don't go!" Len wailed.

"Suicide is never the answer, Luka-sensei! The world is still a beautiful place!" Gumi cried.

"We'd miss you, Luka-nee-chan! We care about you! Don't go!" Rin blubbered.

"Luka, you idiot! Lovers are supposed to commit suicide together! What do you think you're doing all on your own?" Miku sobbed.

"What!" Great, now even the other Vocaloids had jumped on the bandwagon thinking she was going to kill herself! "Oh for crying out loud... Unhand me already!"

"NO!" they shouted in unison, their grips tightening. Luka felt her limbs starting to tingle from lack of circulation.

"You'll try to kill yourself again!" Miku yelled.

The others nodded in agreement, and Luka felt her left eye twitch involuntarily. If she had an available limb, she would have facepalmed. "I'm not going to kill myself! You all have nothing to worry about! And besides, I would have to actually _try _to kill myself at this height, and-"

"T-Try to kill yourself...?" Rin sniffled. As Luka saw their eyes welling up with fresh tears, she realized too late that at this point, they were listening to maybe every other word she was saying if she was lucky.

As the four drew nearer and nearer to tears, Luka said in a panic, "Oh no, don't do tha-"

"I don't want Luka-sensei to kill herself!" Gumi wailed.

All four simultaneously burst into anime waterfall tears, miserably lamenting at the top of their lungs. This ordinarily would have been bad enough, but the waterfalls from Miku and Gumi's eyes were also landing on Luka's face, rendering any form of protest that she would otherwise have voiced impossible. Her head began to ache terribly, and her groan was lost amid all the wailing.

_Note to self: Don't sing songs like Tower again. __**Ever.**_

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><p>It was a long time before they all calmed down. Luka smiled exasperatedly at the four younger Vocaloids as they sniffled, a few tears still trickling down their faces. "Are you all done now?" she asked softly.<p>

As one, they all nodded. She shook her head, a weary but affectionate smile curling her lips while chuckling quietly. "Honestly... I had no idea that you guys would take it that way too... I'm not going to kill myself. I haven't even thought of such a thing."

"B-But..." Miku whimpered, her lower lip trembling. "W-We heard your new s-s-song and... and..."

Not about to let herself be drenched in waterfall tears again if she could help it, Luka interrupted her, chiding gently, "Oh, come now. You know me better than that. It's just a song, besides. It just happened to occur to me while I was writing the lyrics, that's all."

(Luka wisely did not mention that she had drawn upon past experiences before her career as a Vocaloid as inspiration for the song. She had a feeling that if she did, she would have ignited an all-new fit of crying, and lying on her back and being drowned in tears for another thirty minutes did not appeal to her in the least.)

The Kagamine twins looked up at her, sniffling. "If we let you go, you won't try to kill yourself?" Len asked cautiously.

"I won't," Luka reassured them all. "I promise."

Obvious distrust flashed in four pairs of eyes simultaneously before they all looked at each other, contemplating together. Warily, they all nodded as one and fixed her with their gazes, slowly climbing off of her limbs. Luka sat up and turned a comforting smile onto the four younger Vocaloids, inwardly sighing with relief as her limbs came back to life. Even if they'd been more than a little silly, she felt touched by their concern and gathered them into her arms as best as she could. She shook her head, chuckling with weary affection.

"Honestly... I had no idea that even you guys would take it so badly... You haven't a thing to worry about. Trust me."

"Good," Rin said, tightly hugging her. "Cuz you do have people who care about you, Luka-nee-chan."

Miku nodded, hugging her as well. "And if you ever try to commit suicide without me, I'll never forgive you," she pouted.

Luka reddened. Smiling embarrassedly, she replied, "You won't need to worry about _that_ either."

Acting quickly to try to improve their moods and avert another potential water hazard, Luka suggested, "All that crying must have made you guys hungry. How about we go downstairs and I'll fix up some snacks, ne?"

Just as she hoped, they smiled at her and nodded. She wiped away their tears and they all got up to head downstairs. Inwardly, she sighed in relief.

_Disaster averted! Damn, I'm good! _Inner Luka cheered, shooting off a few quick punches before pumping her fist into the air victoriously. _Yosha!_

Luka figured some cookies would do the trick, and she was in the mood for some anyway. Her mood lightened just thinking about it.

Unfortunately, it seemed fate had other plans.

Immediately upon entering the kitchen, she was beset by four simultaneous howls of "LUKA!" and tackled to the floor. She gaped, her left eye twitching as Kaito, Gakupo, Meiko, and Lily all pinned her limbs down, blubbering like children.

"Don't go, Luka! Don't go!" Kaito wailed.

"Suicide is never the answer, Luka! The world is still a beautiful place!" Gakupo cried.

"We'd miss you, Luka! We care about you! Don't go!" Meiko blubbered.

"Luka, you idiot! Drinking buddies don't let drinking buddies commit suicide! What do you think you're doing?" Lily sobbed.

"Not you too!" Luka screamed, incredulous at her hideous misfortune. "What in the world has gotten into you all!"

Then she smelled it: alcohol. Sake, to be specific. Staring at the table, she saw several bottles of sake, three of them clearly empty and lying on their sides, at least two more half-empty. Inner Luka did the facepalming for her, her mental victory parade coming to a screeching halt courtesy of soul-crushing defeat.

Meanwhile, much to her distress, the younger Vocaloids began crying all over again, and Luka was soon under a dog pile of weeping Vocaloids (though she could only wonder how much of Miku's grief was actually real, seeing how her position had allowed her to conveniently put her head on Luka's chest and cop a few feels without retaliation... that girl was a bit of an opportunist, after all). As she was drenched once more in anime waterfall tears, Luka stared up at the ceiling, her expression set into a weary facefault.

Inspiration be damned. Her next song was going to be a sickeningly cheerful song about kitties, rainbows, sparkles, and candy.

...

Okay, maybe not.

...

But right about now, it was _really_ tempting...

* * *

><p><em>Fin<em>

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><p>This seriously wrote itself after I let the idea flow. If you lose a few brain cells from reading this, I don't blame you, I think I lost a few just writing it. XD Nevertheless, if you've gotten up to this point, please leave me a review and let me know what you thought! 'Til next time! ^_^v<p> 


	3. Reception

I wanna take a moment to thank everyone who has reviewed thus far, glad you're enjoying it! Hopefully it'll continue to be amusing!

DISCLAIMER: Nope, still don't own Vocaloid, or anything related to them or... well, anything at all.

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><p>Title: Reception<p>

Summary: Just when Luka had given up on the television, the other Vocaloids find a working, albeit unusual, solution to their problem.

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><p>The TV had been acting up lately. It had been fine for the most part, but it had one day happily decided it no longer wanted to provide the household with clear images, instead often being very fuzzy and headache inducing. It was for this reason that Luka had stopped watching television, and besides, what with streaming being available for most things, she found even less need to watch. Her only real use for the TV was for when she decided to play video games, which would be more often if it were not for the fact that the TV was often occupied by the other members of the household. Squabbling over the remote control had been a near-daily occurrence, and while that had settled down after the TV happily decided it was going to be on its last legs, the TV became even more unbearable because of all the banging everyone else did on it, trying in vain to get the picture to clear up.<p>

One day, on her way out to go run a few errands, Luka had taken notice of Miku, Gumi, and the twins groaning at the TV and occasionally banging on it. She'd smiled wryly, knowing how often this happened and also how little the whole banging on the TV bit actually worked. She fully expected that by the time she returned, they would have gotten bored of the futility and gone on to do something else (and hopefully it'd be nothing catastrophic).

What Luka had failed to take into account was that they were actually quite ingenious at problem solving once they applied themselves to finding a possible solution...

* * *

><p>"I'm home!" Luka called. She shut the door behind her with her foot, her arms preoccupied with the bags carrying the items she'd gone out for.<p>

"Welcome back!" she heard a chorus of voices from the living room. Luka raised an eyebrow. She'd been gone for a little over two hours, and they were still on that television? They must have been adamant. Setting her bags on the counter in the kitchen, she went into the living room.

She was brought up short by the sight that greeted her. Sitting on the couch were Miku, the Kagamine twins and Gumi, with Gakupo, Haku, and Lily standing behind the couch, and Kaito, Neru, and Meiko sitting at the foot of the couch, all eyes focused on the TV (and she hadn't realized Neru and Haku were even coming over today). The TV was projecting beautiful fluidly moving pictures, ones that would put TVs ahead of its class to shame. Indeed, this had to be something beyond HD, and was definitely something the TV had never been able to do before. But as surprising as that was, it wasn't this that stopped Luka short.

"H-Hi, Luka-nee-chan..."

Perched atop their TV and looking about as pathetic as a puppy caught in the rain was Furukawa Miki, offering a weak, pitiful smile at the pink-haired woman. Luka stared blankly, unable to offer any sort of reply to the greeting for a long while. Finally, she managed to answer her.

"...Miki... what are you doing...?"

The girl looked embarrassed. "Er... w-well... Miku-chan invited me over, and like... the TV was on... and they told me to sit on the TV..."

"..." Luka had a bad feeling she knew the answer to her upcoming question, but she had to ask. "And... why did they tell you to do that...?"

"W-W-Well..." she mumbled, fidgeting. "Th-That's because-"

As she spoke, her ahoge twitched the wrong way and the TV burst into static. Most of the viewers went into an uproar, and Gumi shouted, "Miki-chan, hold still!"

Miki cowered, whimpering frightfully, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Her ahoge twitched back into place, and to Luka's dumbstruck amazement, the picture cleared up instantly, once again revealing a pristine quality image on the television screen. There was a soccer game on, but she frankly hadn't realized anyone in the house even cared about sports and said so.

"We don't," Lily replied honestly.

"But," Rin chimed in, "Since it's on TV and since the TV's actually working, we might as well watch it!"

Luka felt a headache coming on. She really did not want to try to figure out how a girl's (rather animated) ahoge had been able to fix their TV's problems by being a pseudo-antenna, or how this idea had even occurred to them to begin with (and she could only wonder who was the mastermind that had hatched up this idea... with four prime suspects and another four potentials, and maybe a fifth, given Neru's nigh-amoral nature, it would pretty much be detective work to figure out who had, and she was not exactly interested in solving this mystery).

Sighing, she looked at the screen. A player had managed to steal the ball out from under one of his opponents and was running up the field. The crowd's already energetic cheering began to reach a fevered pitch as he dribbled past one defender... two... three... He was getting close to the goal when suddenly two more defenders came after him. The ball shot vertically into the air and the player followed with it, along with his opponents, and-

"What's the score?" Miki asked curiously. She bent her head down to sneak a peek, and as soon as she did, the picture exploded once more into static.

"MIKI!" the others roared, sans Luka and Haku.

"I'm sorry!" she whimpered, once more returning to her place.

The screen came back to the sound of the announcer excitedly chattering about what an amazing goal that was, and how they were unlikely to ever see a goal that exciting ever again. Several pairs of eyes moved to glare at Miki, who cowered, her lower lip trembling as she meekly continued to remain at her post. Luka's eye twitched. She glanced over at Haku, who met her gaze and shrugged helplessly. Sighing, Luka left the room.

It didn't seem that Miki could be relieved of her post any time soon, but the least she could do was try to make the unhappy girl a little more comfortable. Luckily, she knew just the thing.

* * *

><p>Miki happily chomped on another cherry that was offered to her, careful not to bite the hand that was feeding her. Her ahoge was wagging out of control with happiness, but its movements didn't affect the picture any, so the viewers really didn't care. Luka smiled with exasperated affection at the redhead girl as she spat out the seed and opened her mouth for another. Obliging her, she fed her another cherry, which she ate happily, no longer minding her position as an overgrown antenna quite as much. After all, she reasoned, what was there to complain about? For doing nothing more than sitting on top of a TV, she was being rewarded with Megurine Luka feeding her cherries, and she knew for a fact there were many fans of hers who would have killed for such an opportunity (possibly even literally; some of Luka-nee-chan's fans were pretty scary...)<p>

Meanwhile, a rather large cushion of space had been given to Hatsune Miku, who sat by herself on the left most end of the couch, a dangerous aura brewing around her... Both of her hands had a death grip on the poor leek in her lap, the leek seemingly trembling with fear as well. The others were visibly more nervous and tense with that suffocating aura of jealous rage boiling around her, to the point that even Neru, who usually didn't give a damn about people's moods, especially bad ones, was visibly nervous, the clicking of keys on her omnipresent phone far more agitated than normal.

Miki munched on another cherry, positively glowing with happiness, and Luka even laughed lightly at how cute she was acting. Unseen to both, a vein had begun to throb at Miku's temple, and the suffocating aura worsened. The weight of the teal-haired girl's displeasure was practically a tangible object by this point; in fact, it was astounding that the two at the TV had not felt it.

"Sorry, Miki, that was the last of the cherries," Luka said, smiling apologetically.

Miki looked as if someone had told her that a puppy she had just bought and taken home had been run over by a truck. So pitiful was the sight that Luka could not help but reach out and rub her head comfortingly. The girl's mood instantly turned around and her heartbroken expression shifted into one of unbridled joy, her ahoge wagging energetically. Despite herself, Luka giggled. Miki could be so cute sometimes.

Not too far from the spectacle, a leek whose only crime was to fall into the hands of a now extremely angry and immensely jealous teal-haired Vocaloid was unable to resist the laws of physics any longer and was wrathfully snapped in half.

This, Miku promised herself, would _not_ go unanswered...

* * *

><p>To say that Luka was speechless would have been a bit of an understatement. She had woken up this morning not really expecting anything special (which in retrospect was a dangerous assumption in the Vocaloid household), but the first thing she saw as soon as she made it down the stairs into the living room was that the old television had been quite suddenly replaced with a gigantic flat screen with visuals so sharp as to make even the most callous and cynical TV watcher weep. And weep the Kagamine twins and Kaito did, but that was most likely because they were watching one of Gumi's anime DVDs and it happened to be a really sad part (and in Kaito's case, probably because he had found that they were fresh out of ice cream).<p>

"Good morning, Luka!" Miku greeted her cheerfully.

The pink-haired woman turned to Miku as she grinned beside her, apparently having sidled up while she'd been distracted. "Good morning, Hatsune-san. Um..." She looked helplessly over at the TV, pointing towards it in a flabbergasted manner.

Miku followed the direction of Luka's finger, cocking her head to the side as if just noticing their brand spanking new TV. Smiling broadly, she chirped, "Oh, that. Well, I got tired of everyone whining about the TV, and also I felt sorry for poor Miki-chan being stuck on the TV all day, so I thought I'd shell out and buy a new TV for us! Pretty good, ne?"

"Y-You bought it?" Luka asked incredulously. "But... Hatsune-san, it must have cost a fortune!" That TV was _definitely_ not something that was going to be available to the average consumer... And despite the fact that every last member of the Vocaloid household brought in decent sums, Luka was not one to approve of reckless expenditures.

Waving it off, Miku answered airily, "Oh, it was no biggie. As long as it makes the rest of us happy, I'm fine with it!"

Luka frowned slightly. "Well... I don't really approve of such a big purchase but... I suppose it was very generous of you to do so." Smiling, she patted Miku's head affectionately. "You really are a good girl, Hatsune-san."

The teal-haired girl blushed, smiling bashfully and digging her toe into the floor with her hands shyly clasped behind her back. "Aww, it was nothing..."

With one last affectionate smile, Luka headed toward the kitchen to make herself some breakfast. Behind her, Miku's shy expression had melted into a sinister smirk. Oh yes, that baby had cost her a pretty penny, but oh, it was so worth it. She had positively seethed watching Luka dote on Miki, and as soon as she'd had an opportunity, she had swiftly gone online to order a new TV for their house, making sure to pull a couple of strings to make sure the TV could be delivered overnight to their house. The spending was worth it, she told herself, and it wasn't like she spent all that much of her money anyway. And so, they had a new TV that did not rely on some sneaky little cherry-loving girl's ahoge to function properly, and thus she had removed any chance of Luka needing to dote on Miki. Sometimes, those kind and sympathetic tendencies of Luka's drove her mad... but that was alright.

She thought briefly of the old TV, now ground into dust courtesy of a brief hijacking of the Kagamine roadroller and the business end of a leek (which was a lot deadlier than it sounded, for hell hath no fury like a Vocaloid in a jealous rage), and sitting innocuously inside the bottom of a neighbor's trashcan. And as for Miki...

Well... from what she last remembered, she didn't look like she'd be recovering from her newfound fear of leeks anytime soon...

Miku chuckled in a sinister fashion, a shadow falling over her eyes.

_No one stands between me and my Luka~_

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><p><em>Fin<em>

* * *

><p>Sadly, the ending for this one could have been done in a million different ways, with a little more emphasis on a semi-yandere Miku, but all my attempts at it ended up not going so well. x_X Maybe next time. XD Oh, and just an FYI, but an ahoge is that strand of hair that sticks up on some anime characters' heads. Literally translated as "stupid hair" IIRC, but I mean it in the most affectionate way possible. I find ahoges really cute, to be honest. XD<p>

Anyways, lemme know what you think! Next update will probably be quicker, I had another in progress while I was writing this one. 'Til next time! ^_^v


	4. Stockpile

Thanks again for the reviews! Reviews keep me going. :D Hope you guys enjoy this one too!

Oh, and LukaFan, unfortunately, I will not be watching it. Got places to be on Saturday T_T; Well, that and I didn't even know about it to begin with, still a new fan to the Vocaloid fandom. XD It's kinda funny, cuz for the longest time, I knew _of_ Vocaloids, but all I had in my collection was Double Lariat and Melt... I'm not sure what happened, but that's alright, cuz I'm enjoying myself. XD

DISCLAIMER: Nope, still do not own anything related to Vocaloids.

Updated 7/1/11: Edited to reflect correct Morse code for Luka's tapping. Thank you to everyone for the correction!

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><p>Title: Stockpile<p>

Summary: She was a growing girl, and it was only natural to have an interest in _those_ kinds of materials... but this was just excessive.

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><p>Luka sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.<p>

"Gumi."

"Y-Yes, Luka-sensei?" The green-haired girl fidgeted uncomfortably.

"It's not like I don't understand, mind you. You're a growing girl, and it's only natural to have an interest in such things."

Gumi squirmed.

"But that said..." Luka swept her arm to gesture in exasperation. "Isn't this a little much?"

Both girls looked around. Throughout the room stood several towers of various media; magazines piled atop magazines, DVDs stacked on other DVDs, games upon games, manga heaped on manga...

All of it porn.

One would have easily thought that they were at an adult section of a store, or perhaps a porn convention, but this was not so.

In fact, they happened to be sitting together in Gumi's room.

This had all started with a bit of cleaning. The Vocaloid house had been steadily falling into disarray, and Luka had taken it upon herself to tidy the place up. Mostly, she'd just done cleaning around the shared parts of the house, like the living room, the kitchen, the dining room, and the bathrooms, but she'd also felt she should at least somewhat clean up some of the rooms. Thankfully, she didn't need to worry about too many. Gakupo took pretty good care of his room, and Kaito not only cleaned up his own, but also Meiko's (and when it came to her and Lily, Luka welcomed all the help she could get). The Kagamine twins also kept their room neat and tidy as well, though she'd heard that had not always been so.

Apparently, they used to be just as messy as Lily and Meiko, but there had been an unfortunate incident several months before Luka's arrival in the Vocaloid household. The Kagamine twins turned pale just at the mere mention of this incident, and apparently the only one who really knew anything was Miku, since Kaito and Meiko had been busy during the ordeal. From the few details she had gleaned, it had involved Rin's underwear on Len's head, several embarrassing ordeals in the day involving crossdressing, numerous nosebleeds, an exploding closet, and the tragic demise of three rubber ducks.

Frankly, this made absolutely no sense to Luka, but there were no more details to be found. Either way, one of the results was that the Kagamine twins thereafter kept their room tidy.

That left a total of four rooms. Luka always kept her room clean out of habit, Miku's had been in a state of mild disarray that was quickly fixed (and had also explained the disappearance of a few of Luka's nightshirts and, blush-worthy enough, several pairs of her underwear...), and Lily's was just a perpetual disaster zone that no one bothered touching to begin with.

Basically, the housekeeping version of an exercise in futility.

That had left Gumi's room. At first glance, it was in a state of mild disarray much like Miku's, perhaps slightly worse. Then, while putting away a few of Gumi's anime DVDs in their appropriate place on the bookshelf, the carelessly sealed door to a hidden closet behind said bookshelf had accidentally slid open and a screaming Luka had been promptly buried beneath an avalanche of porn. It was in that state that Gumi found her room and, in a panic, had dug out Luka.

And that was how they found themselves in their current situation.

Luka was perched on the edge of the bed, with an extremely embarrassed Gumi sitting on her knees before her. Speaking of the bed, beneath the mattress Luka had also found enough porn to last an all-boys' school worth of adolescent boys up until college at least. She had not bothered with moving any of that, but there had been no choice with all the materials she had been previously buried beneath. She sighed, glancing wearily over at Gumi's laptop and external hard drive.

Morbidly curious, she sighed, "Do I dare ask how many gigs you have?"

Gumi poked her fingers together, her head lowered, mumbling out an answer. Luka blinked. She could not possibly have heard right.

"...How many?"

"Er... a-almost fifty gigs..."

Luka stared down at her in disbelief. Gumi chewed her lower lip, red with embarrassment. Sighing, the pink-haired woman looked up at the ceiling.

"Gumi... I'm not your parent, so I really don't have any right to say this... But I have to say that you are a porn addict."

"S-Sorta... yeah..." she admitted quietly.

Luka sighed again, shaking her head. Oh well, nothing to be done about it. At least now she knew what all of Gumi's money was spent on. Well, she thought, eyeing the various anime and game figurines and posters around the room, _part_ of where it went to, anyway.

With a resigned shrug, she said, "Well... let's get this put away."

Gumi's head shot up as she looked at her confusedly. "Huh? You're... You're not mad? Or disgusted?"

Luka blinked down at her. "Of course not, why would I be?"

"Well... I uh..." Gumi looked around at her collection before looking back up. "Isn't this... strange?"

"Not really," Luka replied with a shrug. She scratched her cheek lightly, smiling with a bit of embarrassment. "I mean... yes, it's a lot, but like I said, you're a growing girl, and interest in these kinds of materials is only natural." Tucking a few strands of pink hair behind her ear, she continued, "I'm just shocked at the quantity, that's all."

"But... aren't some of my fetishes a little strange?" Gumi persisted worriedly. She bit her lower lip as soon as she was finished, dreading the answer.

"Well..."

Luka thought over a few of the images in the magazines, some of which had been open when she picked them off the floor or off her face. It could have just been sheer dumb luck, but among others, Luka had noted Gumi had a _massive_ fetish for busty, pink-haired women, especially when they were being dominated by aggressive teal or green-haired girls... and these images quite often included whips, chains, handcuffs, candles... basically, the whole nine yards. She'd never admit to it out loud but... well... they were kind of hot... And maybe it was just because of the images, but it wasn't hard at all to let her imagination wander when it came to those...

She became aware of Gumi's curious stare. Reddening, Luka coughed and quickly regained her composure, scowling through her blush as she replied, "No, not especially."

"Really?" Gumi asked, her eyes daring to hope.

Luka shrugged helplessly with a resigned smile. "We like what we like."

The younger girl broke into a bright smile and Luka smiled with weary affection. Shaking her head lightly, she said, "Well, let's go ahead and get this all put away and then-"

A knock sounded at the door, which had been closed the whole time. "Yo, Gumi, you in there?" they heard Lily's voice. "I'm coming in-"

"DON'T OPEN IT!" two voices chorused in panic.

Too late. Everything afterward seemed to happen in slow motion. The doorknob lightly tapped a teetering pile of magazines, which promptly decided to topple over, starting a chain reaction that proceeded to collapse all of Luka's hard work and bury the two occupants of the room under a second avalanche of porn. The door now more or less fully open, Lily winced at the destruction she had unwittingly wrought.

"Oh man... Sorry about that," she said, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. Apologetically, she began to try to unearth the two girls, but then her eye caught sight of something that interested her.

"Eh? What's this?" She reached for the magazine, soon revealing itself to be a rather hardcore S&M magazine. Her eyes widened as she leafed through the pages, completely speechless and turning redder by the second. "Whoa... This..."

Flip.

"This is..."

Flip. Stare. Flip.

"This is unholy..."

It was a trickle of drool down the corner of her mouth that brought her back to reality. Hurriedly wiping it away, she announced in an authoritative voice, "Gumi, I am shocked and appalled that you have such materials in your possession. You disappoint me, young lady. For the sake of the purity of your eyes and your mind, I will have to confiscate this... this unwholesome book..." She picked out another from the enormous pile, her eyes glinting with perverted glee. "And this one too... and this... and this... ooh, and this one... and-"

Her attempt at picking out another was interrupted as a hand shot out from beneath the pile to seize her wrist in a bone-crushing death grip. Lily shrieked in fright, and tried to retreat but the grip was far too strong.

"Ah! W-W-Wait! Please have mercy, Luka-sama! I- Ah, ah, ah!"

She whimpered pathetically as Luka's hand squeezed without mercy.

"I-It's for the good of the children!" she reasoned, her voice filled with desperate bargaining. "S-Surely you believe in- Ow, ow! Th-Th-This really hurts, Luka! Ow! Oh c'mon! You'd seriously rather let her have it than me?"

The grip hesitated, taking a moment to consider what Lily had just said. After a moment's thought, the grip went back to nearly crushing her wrist, adding a twist for good measure.

"A-Ah! Dammit, Luka, I- O-Okay! I'll put the porn down! Just please let go! I can't feel my hand anymore!"

"What's this about porn?"

Lily turned to face the owner of the voice, seeing Meiko coming close enough to look around the corner into Gumi's room. Meiko's eyes widened.

"Holy..."

Both pairs of eyes suddenly took notice of one of the fingers on Lily's wrist tapping something out: three short taps, three long taps, then three short taps. They blinked. The teal-nail polished finger tapped it out again, seemingly impatient. The women looked at each other, blinking and sharing the same uncomprehending look as they shook their heads and shrugged.

Giving up with what looked like the hand version of a sigh of defeat, the hand let go of Lily's wrist and beckoned them closer. As one, they leaned closer to the pile. Not satisfied, the hand beckoned them even closer. They obliged and leaned so that their faces were almost touching the mountain of porn.

From within, a voice thundered with enough force to blow them backwards, _"GET US OUT OF HERE!"_

The two winced as they rubbed their heads, having hit the floor with an unpleasant amount of force, and trying to calm down their startled hearts.

"You'd think it'd kill her to ask us nicely for once..." Lily grumbled. "OW!"

No sooner had the words left her mouth than a DVD case smacked painfully into her head, courtesy of a displeased hand that had overheard.

* * *

><p>The relief effort took a long time and ended up involving all of the Vocaloids, most of who had wandered by curiously after hearing the suspiciously loud crash of several porn towers collapsing. But at last, several hours later, the two were rescued and the mess cleaned up. And so, Gumi's room actually looked presentable, Lily's wrist was spared any further abuse from vicious death grips, and the Vocaloids all managed to get on with the rest of the day in relative peace.<p>

This would have been the end were it not for the fact that, because the ordeal had involved the whole household, Gumi's porn library became common knowledge in the Vocaloid house...

* * *

><p>Luka sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.<p>

"Gumi."

"Y-Yes, Luka-sensei?" The green-haired girl fidgeted uncomfortably.

Looking up at her with a pained expression, Luka asked, "A porn rental service? Really?"

"I didn't mean for it to get like this!" Gumi whined defensively. "Everyone suddenly wanted to borrow my stuff, and I thought if I charged, I'd get them to back off! But... well..." She deflated, poking her index fingers together.

Luka hung her head, sighing in defeat. Whether it was from necessity or just her jumping at an opportunity, Gumi had organized her rental service into a very smoothly run one-girl operation. Gumi's bookshelf had been pushed aside permanently to allow easier access to her hidden closet (and it really did seem more than a little silly to hide the goods now, seeing how they _all_ knew about it now). Luka looked up at the girl as she scratched the back of her head with embarrassment.

"I assume you keep track of your um... rentals?"

Gumi nodded. Retrieving her laptop, she flipped it open and, once she had found the appropriate document, presented it to Luka, displaying a spreadsheet of sorts detailing all available stock, along with what was already being rented out and to whom, and details on the quality of the item in question when it was loaned out.

(At Luka's question concerning that, Gumi replied, "I may be loaning it out, but it's still my stuff and I want everything to return to me in good quality. Plus, I charge extra for any wear and tear that occurs while it's rented out." Frankly, Luka found it exasperatingly amusing that she already had such policies in place.)

Skimming the list, she saw that _everyone_ was borrowing from Gumi.

"Er... Rin and Len are borrowing from you too?" Luka asked with no small amount of surprise.

"Y-Yeah... I was pretty surprised too but... well, they pay well... and they always return everything in good condition..."

_Never underestimate the business mindset... _Luka sighed mentally.

Well, Luka reasoned, noting too that some of the regular visitors to the house were also renting, they were all growing kids... (and in the case of the older members, they were still kids mentally at least) It really couldn't be helped, and besides, this was probably a lot better than some alternatives she could think of. She skimmed the list again. Her cheeks turned a light pink when she saw that Miku was not only one of Gumi's best customers, but had also been tearing through Gumi's collection involving busty pink-haired women... especially the ones featuring aggressive teal-haired girls. Luka coughed lightly, averting her eyes.

"Well... it at least seems your business venture is running smoothly," Luka said, smiling awkwardly.

Gumi laughed nervously. "Well... like I said, I didn't really mean for it to get like this... not that I'm complaining though, it helps support my other hobbies..."

Luka chuckled. Her eyes returned to the list of items in stock, smiling as she shook her head in resignation. At least they both could rest assured that, in the highly unlikely case that Gumi got fired from being a Vocaloid, she had a lucrative business already ready and waiting for her. Her smile slowly faded into contemplation as she skimmed a few of the items on the list... It looked like Miku only borrowed the mangas one or two at a time, and given how large Gumi's collection was when it came to pink-haired women with teal or green-haired girls (or both, in some cases), there were always many of them in stock...

Luka's face did a good imitation of her hair, a stupid, persistent thought nagging at her head as she fidgeted, her eyes fixed on what appeared to be the first in a series involving such characters.

Gumi looked up at her curiously. She was about to ask what was the matter until, to her surprise, Luka began to take out her wallet.

Refusing to meet her eyes, Luka asked with obvious embarrassment, "Er, h-how much to rent a manga?"

* * *

><p><em>Fin<em>

* * *

><p>As you can probably guess, I had maybe a little too much fun with this one. XD As to whether or not the kind of materials that Gumi has actually exist, let's just say I'm pretty sure it's out there. XP<p>

AFAIK, what Luka was tapping out on Lily's wrist is Morse code for SOS. I admit I didn't really do any research on it, and I heard it a long time ago, so lemme know if it's inaccurate. ^_^;

I thought I'd throw a _little_ bit of Luka reciprocating a bit. I know I've had Luka addressing the others comfortably by first name except for Miku, but I like to think of it as Luka trying to keep her at arm's length. XD Anyways, if you've made it this far, please leave a review and lemme know what you think. :D 'Til next time! ^_^v


	5. Caught!

Thanks again for the reviews, glad you guys liked that last addition!

On a side note, I've mostly been focusing on a barely functioning Vocaloid household, but for future reference, how would you guys feel if the one shots started taking on other settings? High school, workplaces, etc. Please lemme know in a PM or a review what you guys think. :D

Oh yeah, to LukaFan, not to worry, my Vocaloid song collection has long since increased in size. XD It was just that for a really long time, I only had Double Lariat and Melt. It's taken off from there, mostly because I just went nuts on Luka's voice. *fanboy moment*

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing... It'd be nice if that would change, but 'tis my sad reality.

* * *

><p>Title: Caught!<p>

Summary: "I just saw something nice~ And now I must go tell everyone~~~"

* * *

><p>"So hungry..." Lily whined, padding her way down the stairs.<p>

Despite the fact that it was well into the afternoon, she had woken up only a few minutes ago, mostly due to the angle of the sun finally hitting a point where there was absolutely no escape from its rays. After somehow managing to navigate the jungle that passed for her room, she had exited out into the hall and proceeded down the stairs in hopes of scoring some food. The house was strangely empty today, but then she remembered the kids (as she liked to call the younger members) were all at school. Gakupo apparently had some friend to meet up with today, and if she recalled correctly, Kaito and Meiko had gone out somewhere together. Luka was the only one she knew would be home, but her door was closed, so it was possible she was taking a nap or something.

This left Lily to fend for herself, but that was alright. She wasn't really feeling up to cooking an actual meal at the moment, but then, that was why the Vocaloids always kept the pantry stocked for just such moments. Once at the kitchen, she made a beeline for the pantry and opened the door, already wondering whether she wanted cup ramen, or instant yakisoba or...

...or dust.

She stared at the void that was the kitchen pantry, the shock taking a few minutes for her to process. Once it had sunk in, she hung her head in dejection.

_Damn... Well..._ she thought. _That's okay. I can just get by on snacks._

She glanced over at where they kept their snacks... finding it just as bare. Lily's eye ticked. She checked her last resort. One of the tallest shelves in the kitchen held a small stash where she reserved a few snacks for later use. She'd been dipping into that stash a bit more often than necessary, but there was at least a big bag of potato chips that she could crunch on until it was time for a proper meal. But looking inside the shelf showed her prize to be missing. She stared, her face blank with shock before her eyes narrowed with unwelcome realization.

Ah yes... she'd _thought_ that big bag of chips the twins had been scarfing down last night had looked familiar... She slapped a hand over her face in frustration, grumbling and swearing under her breath and wondering why she hadn't considered this possibility. While easily the two shortest members of the household, the Kagamine twins typically compensated for this by working as a team... and no one in the house was taller than Rin riding Len's shoulders...

Lily snarled under her breath. Those two were _so_ going to pay for this... Next time they went grocery shopping, she was going to conveniently _forget_ to buy oranges and bananas... Oh, she could imagine the looks on their faces already-

Lily's sinister chuckling was cut short as she realized that her vile plans would never come to fruition. Reality check reminded her that it was simply an impossibility, because if there was one Vocaloid who was _always_ present for those trips, it was Megurine Luka, who never forgot to buy things that anyone liked (except for sake, much to Lily and Meiko's mutual disappointment and frustration). In addition, while Luka generally kept an iron-fisted dominion over the budget on these trips, she could be easily swayed by cuteness. Even if the stars aligned, Luka actually forgot to buy stuff for the twins, and Lily's diabolical plan were to succeed, as soon as the twins saw that there was none of their favorite fruits, they would begin to whine and cry until they got their way (_Crocodile tears!_ Lily would think vehemently anytime they used that tactic. _Crocodile tears, all of it!_).

And while Lily would have sat there and laughed in their faces at their allegations of child abuse and various human rights violations, Luka, softie that she was, would have sprinted out the door and not returned until she had brought back immense stockpiles of each fruit.

She knew this for a fact. Kaito had tried that just once on them as a prank, and not only had Luka buckled in 2.37 seconds (which was her longest period of resistance against such an assault), but Meiko had also beaten him up for making the twins cry, with Miku, Gakupo and Gumi just sitting on the sidelines and egging her on.

Why such evil, manipulative beings were allowed to possess such cute forms, Lily would never know.

So now with her chances for revenge also shut down, Lily felt even more miserable. More importantly, as her stomach grouchily reminded her, she was still hungry. She looked in the fridge to see if they had anything she could make a simple dish with, but that effort too proved fruitless, as the refrigerator was cleaned out. Lily sighed. She hadn't even been awake for fifteen minutes and today was already crappy. Well, there was no choice... Even though it was a bit of a pain, she didn't have any option left but to go to the convenience store and-

A stricken expression crossed her face before she facepalmed. She'd forgotten she'd blown the last of her money for the month already! Stupid booze and games... and strip clubs... and... stupid other things... Above all, she thought ruefully, stupid her for spending so much all the time. No wonder their manager had made her the only one on an allowance system...

Lily sighed. There was no helping it. Between her pride and her hunger, her pride was far less important, so now it was time to go to Luka with her proverbial hat in hand and beg for some money for food... She cursed the fact that Meiko wasn't around, because when smashed, Meiko would throw cash at pretty much _anything_ within range that would do a little striptease (Lily had used it to her advantage on numerous occasions when she was "supposed" to buy the next round of drinks). Luka, however, was not amused with such antics, and she likely would have gotten the business end of a tuna for her trouble (and her body ached with remembered pains at this thought). Lily was still thinking thoughts like these when she timidly knocked on Luka's door.

"Oi, Luka? Um..."

She fidgeted as she opened the door, partly from nervousness since Luka was notoriously stingy when it came to her money (although when she thought about it, that only applied when Lily was the one asking for money...), but also partly for calculated effect. She'd practiced the whimpering, tearful look the Kagamine twins would give people when they wanted their way, and she figured it _should_ earn her some brownie points... She could be cute too if she wanted to be!

"H-Hey, Luka? I was just wondering-"

"Oh my God!"

Lily's actually rather accurate imitation of the Kagamine mask of supreme manipulation was stricken from her face as soon as she saw the occupant within. Inside was Luka alright... but instead of her normal clothes or any casual wear, she was decked out in a pink nurse uniform, complete with a pink hat. The skirt was scandalously short, and offering a generous view of her killer legs decked out in black stockings (somewhere in the background was an enthusiastic howl of "OH YEAH!"), and if she moved said killer legs the wrong way, would end up offering a generous view up her skirt. To top off the look, Nurse Luka even came complete with a syringe that she held in her right hand, and glasses.

Luka stared back at Lily with a face as red as a tomato and turquoise eyes that looked like they would not be out of place on a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck full of trucks being driven by Optimus Prime.

Lily stared blankly, put into shock by what she was seeing.

"Um... Luka... you..."

"N-Now I know what this looks like..." Luka stammered, trying unsuccessfully to cover herself.

Lily's expression remained blank with shock. But slowly, her face became a wide Cheshire Cat grin that made Luka break out into a nervous sweat. In a cheerful voice, Lily said, "Oh, it seems you're busy right now, Luka, so... I'll check on you later~"

She closed the door and began to skip off, but Luka stared after her, as if she could see her through the door. A sudden realization gripped her guts in icy clutches, for it was a well-known fact that Lily could not keep her mouth shut about _anything..._

"Lily? Lily! Lily, come back here!" she called, panic rising with each word. The door slammed open as she gave chase.

* * *

><p>Gakupo sighed as he opened the door to the Vocaloid house. What a day... First he'd woken up late, remembering he had an appointment today to meet a friend... then it had all been downhill from there. He'd rushed off to the train station, forgotten his wallet and his cell phone, ran back to the house, grabbed said items and tried to call on the way, only to find he'd forgotten to charge his phone the night before and watched his phone give him the electronic version of the middle finger before it shut down... And then he'd found a payphone, but needed to break a bill into coins, since all he had were bills... then he'd forgotten his friend's number... The train had been running late, so he made a dash for the place they agreed to meet up at, but found it crowded... so he'd gone over to a convenience store, purchased a charger, and charged his phone just enough to be able to use the damn thing...<p>

Only to find a text from his friend from earlier that morning saying, "Sorry, something urgent came up! ^_^; Maybe next time!"

He sighed again unhappily, hanging his head. What a day indeed... All he wanted to do now was just go to his room and pretend today had never happened... After all, what more could possibly go wrong?

Gakupo looked up just in time to dodge Lily prancing past him, looking so much happier than he could ever recall seeing her before. Sourly, he grumbled under his breath, "At least _someone's_ having a good day..."

He faced forward again, seeing... His eyes widened. "Uh..."

The nurse who had been charging down the stairs returned a frozen stare at him, her expression the definition of panic itself.

"L...Luka...?" Gakupo asked hesitantly.

_"IYAAAAAA!"_ Luka shrieked in a very un-Luka-like manner. She charged at him in a way that made his body's panic sensors go into overdrive.

"Gah! Um...! Er...!" he tried to think quickly, because she was getting closer and this did not bode well for him at all. Offering what he hoped to be a kind smile (actually, it looked more like an "oh shit, I'm so screwed" expression), he said, "Aha... Luka, that nurse outfit looks great on y-"

Completely ignoring him, Luka screamed, her voice gaining an ominous echo, _**"FORGET WHAT YOU SAW! JAPANESE NINJA NUMBER ONE SKILL: DOUBLE LARIAT NO JUTSU (SEXY NURSE VERSION)!"**_

The last thing Gakupo saw before he was launched screaming through the open doorway and soaring through the sky was a technique legends had only spoken of. For a brief moment, he was caught by the whirling grace and power behind the beautifully executed attack. The spinning had also made her skirt fly up, but he had no time to even think to take a peek before the strike landed, which began his involuntary journey out the door and into the great sky above.

Seeing how the only other witness was hightailing it from the scene, her long blonde hair fluttering behind her, the secrets behind this devastating skill remained safe once more.

* * *

><p>Miku, Neru, and Gumi had been on their way back from school and just about to turn the corner to get to the walkway that led up to the Vocaloid house when they were nearly plowed over by a fleeing Lily, who singsonged at the top of her lungs, "I just saw something nice~ And now I must go tell everyone~~~"<p>

Miku and Gumi stared after her in bewilderment. "Uhhhhhh..." Gumi said, raising an eyebrow. "What was that all about?"

Neru had not looked up from her phone, still punching in keys at a mind-boggling speed as she commented absently, "Probably just her being an idiot again."

The two other girls were about to shrug and resume walking when suddenly a nurse in a very sexy pink uniform and black stockings (an outfit Gumi and Miku both recognized to be straight out of one of Gumi's hentai mangas) ran out onto the sidewalk, her shoes screeching against the concrete before zooming off in the direction Lily had fled, her pink hair fluttering behind her as she screamed, "Lily! Lily, let's talk about this! Please? Lily, are you listening to me? Lily!"

The dust slowly settled in her wake, revealing three girls staring after her, eyes wide. The green-haired girl and her teal-haired companion were both flushed bright red, and streams of blood had started spilling from their noses.

"Whoa..." Gumi whispered, her voice husky with awe. "That... was so totally awesome..."

"Ehehe..." Miku's laugh and accompanying grin were not unlike those of a perverted old man, a small trickle of drool starting at the corner of her mouth. "Black lace... Oh yeah... My favorite..."

Neru's expression was the same as the two other girls, sans nosebleeds. She held up her phone. Instead of massive lines of abusive texting and legions of emotes on the screen like usual, there was instead a perfect image of Luka, her expression of panic, arms flailing ("Wow... Glasses... And a syringe too...? She's really into this cosplay..." Gumi said in an awed whisper.) and a very nice upskirt shot showing a generous amount of sexy black lace.

Neru handed Miku her handkerchief as the latter's nosebleed worsened. The teal-haired girl accepted and clutched the cloth to her nose without breaking her fixated stare on the picture.

"Neru," Miku said, seemingly hypnotized. "You gotta send this to my phone."

"Mine too," Gumi added, just as hypnotized.

Not one to miss an opportunity, Neru said, unable to tear her eyes away either. "Six pictures of Len. Each."

"Two," they chorused in perfect unison.

"Five."

"Three."

"Four."

"Deal."

* * *

><p>Somewhere at a park downtown, about twenty minutes from the train station nearest to the Vocaloid house and a short walk from a busy firm, Honne Dell was having a smoke break. Ordinarily, he would just gaze off into nothing as he stood by himself under the shade of his favorite tree, but today, there was something new to look at.<p>

A purple-haired samurai lay suspended in the tree above the one Dell was standing beneath, held up by the lone branch that had not shattered during his unceremonious, screaming descent. He took a drag before exhaling, red eyes still fixed on the sight with as much curiosity as his sullen expression could muster (which really did not look like much). He recognized the man at least: Kamui Gakupo from the Vocaloid household. He'd met him on a few occasions, though Dell did not visit the house as often as Haku did. Work called, after all.

He ignored the other people staring up at the injured man, bruised and battered and looking in a very altogether unpleasant state.

"So," Dell began before taking another drag. He wasn't any good at this "taking care of people" crap... "Um... how's it hanging?"

Realizing what he'd said, he slapped a hand over his forehead. "Sorry... That totally came out wrong."

Weakly, Gakupo groaned.

"Medic..."

* * *

><p><em>Fin<em>

* * *

><p><span>Omake<span>

"Kinda rare for Luka to skip out on a grocery shopping trip, isn't it?" Kaito asked, absently tossing a small bag full of oranges into their shopping cart.

"Yeah," Meiko admitted. "But... well, she said something about practicing for a new song. You know how dedicated that girl can be."

"Mm."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, shopping around for other groceries the house needed in the fresh foods section. Neither knew how the hell they had all been so careless as to allow their food supply to drop to zero in a house that was essentially full of gluttons (Luka had perhaps the most normal eating habits, but also the most expensive... buying high quality tuna sushi for her had cost more like two arms and a leg...), but it happened occasionally, they supposed.

Something out of the corner of his eye caught Kaito's attention. He blinked. "Ne, Mei-chan, isn't that Miki-chan?"

"Hm?" Meiko raised her head to look in the direction the blue-haired man had nodded towards and saw Furukawa Miki, apparently doing her own grocery shopping. Upon recognizing her, her face lit up. "Oh, it is!" She called out to the redhead girl, "Hi, Miki-chan!"

No response. Instead, the girl was staring straight ahead of herself, apparently deaf.

The two blinked and looked at each other. They walked up to her and moved their heads to look at her face. The girl was sporting a traumatized expression, her lips moving in short, convulsive movements, eyes wide and glassy. Her ahoge was crooked, trembling slightly with her quivering body. Kaito blinked and waved a hand in front of her face.

"Miki-chan? Hello? Earth to Miki-chan?"

No reaction.

Again the two adults looked at each other. They followed Miki's gaze to what she was staring at.

Meiko blinked twice in confusion. "Does... she not like leeks?"

Kaito shrugged. "Never heard of anyone who hated leeks so much they were traumatized by them..."

"I'm sorry..." Miki muttered fearfully, apparently talking to no one in particular. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Kaito and Meiko looked at each other and then back at Miki, who was lost in her own terrifying world...

* * *

><p><em>A vise-like grip landed on her shoulder as she exited the house. Gasping with alarm, Miki whirled.<em>

"_M-Miku-chan?" she asked. It could have just been the darkness of night, but the teal-haired girl seemed so very threatening, a malevolent miasma of menace surrounding her. Instead of her usual shirt, skirt, and tie, she wore a simple gray kimono. Her bangs concealed all of her face in shadow save for her mouth._

_The mouth was curled into a terrifying smile._

"_Miki-chan..." Miku said in a low, twisted version of her normally sweet, melodic voice. "I'm sorry..."_

"_H-Huh...?" Her ahoge quivered with fright. She winced as the teal-haired demon's grip tightened. "M-M-Miku-chan...! Y-You're hurting me...!"_

"_I'm sorry, Miki-chan..." Miku rasped, apparently not hearing her as she began to chuckle darkly. "I was going to let you go... It's really not your fault..."_

_She looked up, revealing an insane, sadistic gleam in her eyes. "But I guess I just can't..."_

_Miki seized up with fear as Miku's free hand emerged from the darkness, revealing her hand tightly clutching a leek. She whimpered, terror visible in her gaze. "N-No... M-Miku-chan... Please...!"_

_Miku's only response was to chuckle sinisterly, her lips still set into a cruel smile. "Maybe if you say 'I'm sorry' a thousand times before I'm finished, I'll let you go~~~"_

"_I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."_

_The hand wielding the leek raised high over Miku's head, still fixing Miki's petrified eyes with psychotic ones. The chuckling grew into soft laughter._

"_I'm sorry...! I'm sorry...! I'm sorry...!"_

_The leek began to descend on her..._

"_Ahahaha... AHAHAHA...! __**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**__"_

* * *

><p>Kaito scratched his head. "Well... we can't leave her here... Not like this anyway."<p>

Meiko nodded her agreement. Easily, she lifted the girl onto the cart, still rigid as a board despite her trembling. Cold sweat trickled down her face, mixing with frightened tears as she whimpered again and again, "I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..."

Kaito and Meiko sweatdropped simultaneously.

_Someone needs therapy..._

* * *

><p><em>Omake Fin<em>

* * *

><p>This just completely flew out of control after a while as I was writing it. XDDD And yes, I had a bit too much fun with this one too. I had to do a coin flip on Nurse Luka vs. Maid Luka (I was going to pick an anime character, but decided against it ultimately; figured it'd be better to pick something a bit more generic), and as you can see, Nurse Luka won.<p>

Regarding the omake, I thought I'd give a teeny bit of a glimpse of what poor Miki-chan went through in chapter 3, but I didn't think it was strong enough to stand on its own. I made Miku go full-on Higurashi on her, and I _hope_ it's still funny. Didn't wanna make Miku _too_ scary, though I don't think I did (then again, I've seen enough Vocaloid horror stuff to be afraid of any of them in yandere mode x_X).

Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I liked writing it! Toss me a review and let me know what you think! 'Til next time! ^_^


	6. Point of View

Thank you again to everyone who reviewed! I know this sounds really tedious and repetitive, but I really do mean it. XD

Ehh... Y'know, I really don't think this warrants a warning, but I just thought I'd get it out there. This one has a mildly steamy scene in there. Nothing bad at all, and frankly well within the realm of the T rating, but just in case anyone's sensitive to that sort of stuff. :P Hope you enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: Is it really necessary for me to do this? -_-; Either way, I own nothing, save for this humble piece of fanfiction.

* * *

><p>Title: Point of View<p>

Summary: Gumi demonstrates that sometimes, it's just about looking at your world differently... But this being the Vocaloid household, this comes with unforeseen consequences.

* * *

><p>The day was actually quite boring, with most of the Vocaloid household just lounging around and doing nothing in particular. Kaito lazily threw a paper airplane he had made from the wrapping around a small container of ice cream he had just polished off, and sighed when the plane took a nose dive after only sailing about a foot or two. Sitting on the sofa beside him and seemingly staring off into space was Gumi. He could only wonder what she was thinking, since she was the only one in the household who did not seem listless and bored. In fact, she was wearing a dreamy smile, a light blush staining her cheeks and the occasional giggle falling from her lips. He raised an eyebrow. While Gumi was not exactly a dark personality, he'd never seen her look like that before. Figuring it'd give him something to do for a while, he called out to her.<p>

"Oi."

Snapping out of her reverie, Gumi glanced over at him. "Hm? What's up?"

"What's got you so happy?"

She smiled again. "There any reason not to be?"

"Not really. But you're the only one who doesn't look bored outta their skulls."

Gumi hummed with thought, apparently recollecting what everyone was like today. "Huh. Guess you're right. But y'know..." She brightened up considerably, as she went on cheerfully, "The world's just a really great place! It's just that sometimes, you gotta take a look at it from a different point of view."

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" While Kaito wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, he had to admit that sounded kind of deep.

"Here, lemme give you an example," she continued, brash and cheery as a detergent salesman. She gestured over to the kitchen, and the blue-haired man turned his head to look. "What do you see?"

"Miku and Luka just talking," he replied simply. He wasn't sure what exactly was so great about this. Miku was chatting up the pink-haired woman about something, for once actually not trying to flirt with her or semi-obviously get into her pants (which said pink-haired woman always seemed to _completely_ miss somehow), and Luka was smiling gently as she listened. Sure, this was rare, but this was also really boring. He could have had more fun in a cardboard box on a rainy day.

Gumi was undeterred by his bored tone of voice. "Now, my ice cream-loving friend..." she said, still brash and cheery. Kaito idly wondered if she had ever thought of being a pitchman if she ever got tired of singing. Gumi removed her omnipresent red goggles from her head and gingerly placed them over Kaito's eyes. "See the world through Gumi Vision!"

More than just a tad skeptical, Kaito gazed once more at the painfully ordinary scene through the red-tinted goggles. Almost instantaneously, his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull.

Gumi Vision

"_N-No... H-Hatsune-san... Please...!"_

_Miku ignored the pink-haired woman's pleas as her lips continued to nuzzle against her neck, planting hot kisses against the too-sensitive skin. "Hm? Did you say something, Luka-chan~?"_

"_H-Hatsune... san..." she mewled, her voice pleading even as her face showed that she was not entirely opposed to what was happening._

_The teal-haired girl tsked at her, her finger wagging in time with the tsking. "You don't honestly think I'm going to let you get away with saying something so formal during a time like this, do you?" Her voice was low and seductive, making the older woman melt under her grasp. "You don't honestly think I'll let you get away with screaming 'Hatsune-san' in this kind of situation, ne? Lu-ka-chan~"_

"_M-Miku..." she whispered, her words barely audible as she spoke around a throat tight with nervousness._

"_Can't hear you~~~"_

"_M-Miku...!"_

"_Good girl~" Miku nibbled gently on Luka's earlobe, drawing soft, breathy gasps. She visibly reveled in her power over the older woman, her hands roaming enticingly over her body. "But I think it's time you showed me my due respect as a senpai~"_

"_Eh?"_

"_You may be older, but I'm still your senpai, Luka~ Or have you forgotten, hm?"_

"_M-Mi... Miku... senpai..."_

"_Such a good girl," Miku cooed, her hand snaking up the pink-haired woman's skirt._

"_Miku-senpai... S-S-Senpai... Ah! N-No...! Please...! No more...! I... I...!"_

Kaito blinked as the goggles were suddenly taken from him. To his distress, the scene before him ended up going from a hot, borderline-H scene involving Luka and Miku to a boring, ordinary conversation over tea involving Luka and Miku. He whirled towards Gumi, who was adjusting the goggles back on her head.

"Hey!" he protested, scandalized. "It was just getting to the good part!"

"I know," she replied simply. "But then I'd have to charge you. Gumi Vision doesn't come free, y'know."

Kaito winced. Knowing the girl's stranglehold on the anime, manga, game, and porn (_especially_ porn) business in the Vocaloid household, she probably would have charged him something awful... She had quite the racket going on, after all.

"I... guess you spared me then."

"Yup!" Gumi leaned back easily on the sofa, fingers lacing behind her head and looking far too pleased with herself. "So now you see why I'm never truly bored. Yuri always makes the world a better place!"

"Huh, so it doesn't necessarily focus on just those two?"

"Nah. I mean, yeah, it's my favorite flavor, but variety's the spice of life! Gumi Vision will make pretty much any scene that much better!"

"Wow..." Kaito was actually very impressed with this, and was also astounded that the green-haired girl was this much of a pervert. He began to think there were perverts, ultra-perverts, and then Gumis, and the gap between Gumis and ultra-perverts was looking pretty wide...

"It's just a prototype, and I don't really intend to sell it off, but that's cool. Can't be selling all my wares, right?" Gumi had a big, cheesy grin on her face, still looking far too pleased with herself.

"Yeah, I guess," Kaito admitted.

"What's this about wares?"

Both looked up to see Miku leaning over the couch to join their conversation. Gumi greeted her with an enthusiastic smile, "Oh, heya Miku-chan! I was just telling Kaito about Gumi Vision!"

"Gumi Vision?" she asked, tipping her head to the side as her brow furrowed in confusion.

"Yup!" she chirped. Gumi removed her red goggles and held them out to Miku. "Gumi Vision is guaranteed to spice up any scenes with delicious yuri action!"

"Really now?" Miku's tone said she didn't quite believe her but put them on anyway. "...Whoa."

Gumi chuckled, obviously very proud of herself. "Yet another doubter converted!"

Kaito looked at her curiously. "So like... _any_ scene? What if you're just like... looking at an empty table?"

The green-haired girl waved her hand in a dismissive, nonchalant manner. "Easy. All you gotta do is just imagine two hot chicks and you'll see some yuri happening right before your eyes. Haven't really tried it with anything non-yuri yet though. Maybe. We'll see. I still think yuri's the hottest."

"Doesn't it bug you that you don't have your yuri goggles on now though?"

Gumi waved her hand in the same dismissive, nonchalant manner. "Not at all. Apparently, Gumi Vision also imparts a sort of 'bleeding' effect, if you will. Too much exposure and you have Gumi Vision forever. I just happen to like the goggles, that's all. Plus it enhances the experience nevertheless."

"...I'm not sure how this is making any sense, and this is starting to sound like something some idiot thought up on the fly cuz he thought it'd be funny, but oh well. OW!" Kaito shouted as he was inexplicably struck by an inexplicably flying paper fan.

"Sorry!" Meiko called as she came down the stairs to retrieve her paper fan.

"That was so unexplainably random that I _had_ to have pissed somebody off..." Kaito mumbled, a little more quietly this time.

Gumi snickered at Kaito's expense for a bit, but noticed that Miku was strangely quiet for someone who had been slavering all over the images that Gumi Vision had proudly displayed. "Hey, Miku-chan, you okay?"

Miku did not answer, her gaze focused out the window. Though her eyes were covered by the red goggles, there were clear signs of growing anger in the rest of her body language. She blinked. The green-haired girl followed her friend's stare out the window, and once she saw what she was looking at, her blood ran cold.

"Oh shit..."

"What?" Kaito's eyes followed what everyone else was looking at. It was a perfectly ordinary scene. Luka had gone out to pick up the mail (he could only assume that Miku had come to them while she waited for Luka to come back), and now Rin was talking to her, chattering happily about something or another. Big deal, he thought. Luka was smiling affectionately at her, an almost maternal look. Sure, it was a cute scene, but-

Slowly, he put two and two together. Kaito blanched. "Oh shit..."

The sound of Miku's knuckles cracking filled the air as her fists clenched, too choked with fury to say anything. "R-Rin... Y-You... You..."

Kaito and Gumi fell back, trembling at the girl's rage. While it was a fact that a jealous Miku was one of the most feared things in the Vocaloid household, this was just a whole new monster. The usually suffocating aura of jealous rage around her was practically an aura promising death and destruction. The cowering duo was frozen in terror, the killing intent in the air so powerful that they could actually _see _images of their cruel demise... and they weren't even the targets of her ire. The goggles shattered under the weight of her killing intent, revealing her eyes to be nearly bloodshot from her rage.

Then, as suddenly as her fury had began, it evaporated. Her expression went from a visage of wrath to a chilling parody of her usual cheerful smiles.

She turned to Gumi, her voice and manner eerily calm as she said, "Ne, Gumi-chan, thanks for letting me borrow those goggles. Sorry about breaking them."

"N-N-No problem!" she tittered nervously. "Th-They're just goggles! I can make more! Ehehe..."

With a smile and a nod, Miku left the room, wholeheartedly ignoring the terrified pairs of eyes that followed her.

"Gumi..." Kaito began hesitantly. "What... What's gonna happen to Rin-chan?"

"I dunno..." Gumi gulped audibly, cold sweat running down her forehead. "But... I don't wanna know..."

Kaito nodded his agreement. Silently, the two said a prayer for the blonde girl...

* * *

><p>Rin blinked. She'd just finished talking with Luka-nee about maybe getting some help with practicing some of her dance routines and had decided she'd unwind from work by messing around a little with the roadroller. Since the spot next to their house was empty anyway, the Kagamine twins always kept the roadroller parked there, but right now, the usual parking spot was curiously empty. In its place, there was a large X painted in blood red, along with a rather plump and juicy-looking orange on the center. Rin looked around. Nothing. She tipped her head to the side. While this was certainly a strange turn of events, she wasn't one to turn down a free orange. She shrugged and skipped over to bend down and pick up the fruit, lightly dusting it off with her fingers. Even though it probably wasn't a good idea to eat something that had been sitting on the ground, it sure looked good. Ooh, it even felt like it had been in a fridge for a bit, so it had a nice, cool feeling to it. She eagerly got ready to peel it...<p>

She blinked. There was an annoying whistling sound for some reason. And it kept getting louder. Rin looked around again for the possible source. Nothing. And was it her or was it getting darker? That couldn't be, the sun was still out and it was only the afternoon; the sun shouldn't be setting for-

The blonde Vocaloid's train of thought was cut short as she looked up. Something was falling... and it was about to land on her.

...It was taking a moment to process...

_Hey stupid! That means move!_ Her brain screamed at her frantically.

...

After her brain gave her a proverbial slap in the face, Rin screamed in alarm as she dived out of the way. No sooner had she done so when the object slammed heavily into the ground, right on the X where she'd been standing.

"Roadroller da! WRRRYYYYY! ! !"

In shock, Rin looked over her shoulder. The roadroller was back alright, but who had...

Her mouth fell open at the sight of the girl imitating the infamous Dio Brando pose on top of the roadroller. "M-M-Miku-nee-chan?"

At the sound of her trembling voice, the teal-haired girl's maniacal smile dimmed into clear disappointment. "Huh... It didn't work, huh?"

She shrugged, getting into the driver's seat. "No problem!" A grin that would have gotten most people locked up in a room with soft walls crossed Miku's face. "No problem at all!"

With wide eyes, Rin stared as the roadroller roared into life…

* * *

><p>Len peered curiously at the crane next door from his position at the Vocaloid driveway. Was there construction going on or something? There probably had to be, considering that there was the unmistakable sound of heavy machinery going not too far from...<p>

_Hey, wait a sec... Isn't it getting closer?_

Suddenly, he became aware of a shrill scream that instantly put him on edge. He would have known that scream anywhere: Rin. What was going on? The screaming grew louder as said blonde girl ran around the corner of the fence towards him, obviously in a state of extreme panic.

"Len! Help!" Rin screeched shrilly.

He was just about to open his mouth to ask what was going on when all of a sudden, the fence was knocked down courtesy of a roadroller. And not just any roadroller, a _very_ familiar roadroller that sported spinning rims, a state-of-the-art sound system, and was bouncing with every movement thanks to the lowrider-esque hydraulics system that he and Rin had installed per Luka-nee's suggestions the night before the Hangover Incident (as the Vocaloids called it). At the wheel, maniacally cackling over the sound of American rap music that blasted from the stereo, was an equally familiar teal-haired girl. It would have taken someone who was blind in one eye and going blind in the other, as well as deaf, to not see that this girl was frankly nuts.

"You're the man! Do something!" Rin screamed as she ran past him.

Len stared after her in confusion then turned his gaze toward the roadroller bouncing towards him with absolutely no intentions of slowing down.

"Oh, forget that!" In panic, he turned and fled too (and in retrospect, maybe it wasn't a good idea to be running in the same direction as Rin, but at the time, it was as good a direction as any).

"_DON'T RUN!"_ the clearly insane Hatsune Miku-look-alike cackled (because there was no way in _hell_ that could be Miku-nee). _"YOU DON'T WANT TO DIE TIRED NOW, DO YOU?"_

"Rin! What the _hell_ did you do?" Len demanded.

_Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back..._he told himself.

"I-I don't know!" Rin cried. "I really don't! Miku-nee-chan just started trying to kill me all of a sudden!"

_Don't look back, don't look back, don't look back..._ she told herself.

The tremors of a lowrider/roadroller hybrid blasting American rap music continued to chase them as they fled down the road, screaming. The twins unknowingly thought simultaneously that it must have been a blessing in disguise that they hadn't been able to afford installing a supercharger in the roadroller's engine, or else this would have been a very short chase indeed...

* * *

><p>How strange, Luka thought. She hadn't seen Miku or the twins at all in a long while... She wondered if she should be concerned. Well, it wasn't quite dark yet, though it was starting to get close to it... Just as she was pondering calling their cell phones, she heard the front door open and close without anyone announcing themselves, and went to go take a peek, hoping it was any of those three. Miku walked in alone, looking quite normal, much to Luka's relief.<p>

"Welcome back, Hatsune-san," she greeted warmly.

The cold glower she received was wholly unexpected. Luka was unable to do anything but stare in surprise as Miku glared hard at her. The girl folded her arms over her chest, her scowl darkening as she spoke in a voice as cold as her glare.

"Y'know, Luka, I am the _only_ one in this house that gets this kind of treatment from you."

Luka blinked in surprise. "Wh-What are you talking about, Hatsune-san...?"

"That!" Miku shouted. "Why am I the only one that still gets called by last name? Rin and Len, I can understand! Gumi-chan too, I don't even know what the hell her last name is! But everyone else, you're just fine calling them by their given names! What about me?"

Luka was taken aback by her vehemence. "Er, well... th-that is... uh..." She averted her gaze, unsure how to word what she wanted to say.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" Miku barked.

The pink-haired woman stiffened with shock, instantly returning her gaze to the furious teal eyes. She cowered away from her as she moved her arms to clench her fists at her sides, jaw clenched.

"What makes me so damn different as to _still_ be called so damn formally, huh?" she raged. "I for one am pretty damn sick of it! My name is Miku! _Miku!_ Miku, dammit! _**Miku!**_"

Luka swallowed hard, knowing she didn't _really_ have any good reasons for keeping it up. Well... she had some, but... none of them fell under the category of "good". Chewing her lower lip briefly, she mumbled softly, suddenly timid.

"Huh? The hell're ya sayin'?" Miku shouted, suddenly in full-blown yanki mode. "Speak up, cuz I can't hear ya!"

"M-M... Mi... ku...!"

She paused, her angry mask dropping in an instant. She faltered, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly before she whispered, suddenly sounding so vulnerable in contrast to the pure rage she had exuded earlier, "Can... you say that again...?"

Luka chewed her lower lip again, a light pink hue flushing her cheeks. "M-Miku..."

Miku unclenched her fists, a small smile starting to tug on her lips. She didn't think her name had ever sounded so pretty before... "Again...?"

Luka smiled shyly. "Miku..."

The teal-haired girl smiled, feeling so much lighter than when she had stepped in through the door in a horrible mood. She sniffled briefly, wiping a few happy tears from her eyes. "Much better," she said softly. Suddenly, she seized Luka by the collar and pulled her down so their faces were barely a breath apart. Without waiting for an invitation, she pressed her lips to hers in a gentle, but possessive manner. Luka's eyes shot wide open, her face burning fire-truck red.

_What...? What? Th-This is too sudden! M-M-My heart isn't prepared for this! I..._

The kiss was broken before she could process anything more. She was still being gripped by her collar as she met Miku's sunny grin with a dumbfounded "Someone tell me what's going on because I'm lost and I think my brain's been broken" expression.

"I forgive you, Luka, even if you _are_ an unfaithful cheat. Just don't let it happen again, ne?"

Without waiting for an answer, she skipped back out the door that she had come in through barely a few minutes ago. Behind her, Luka sank against the wall, sliding down into a sitting position while her poor brain tried to process the overwhelming load of WTF it had just been subjected to. Hesitantly, she touched her lips with her fingers, her cheeks flushing brighter at the memory of the younger girl's bold action. Even if she had been too shocked to be responsive, that hadn't seemed to stop Miku much... Slowly, she began to smile, the curve of her lips tinged with shyness and exasperation.

"Geez... That girl..."

She touched her lips again, unable to deny that... well... she'd rather liked it. Her smile faded into confusion as something registered in her head.

"Wait... What did she mean 'unfaithful cheat'?"

* * *

><p>The sun shined a little too brightly in Rin's eyes. She yawned as she sat up in her bed, stretching. Beside her, she heard Len doing the same thing. She turned toward him but an ache in her head kept her from doing anything more. Rin winced, groaning with pain.<p>

"Geez..."

"You too, huh?" Len asked.

"What... what happened? I can't remember anything at all..."

"Me neither," her twin admitted. "I... I have a feeling that something bad happened, but I can't be sure..."

Rin nodded, looking down at her hands. She blinked. Were those rope burns around her wrists...?

Before she had any more time to wonder, the door to their room was flung open. "Good morning~" Miku sang cheerfully, all but skipping into the room.

"Morning, Miku-nee," they replied in unison.

"You guys okay?" she asked warmly. "You had a pretty rough night yesterday. You guys gotta know to not party so hard!"

"Party...?" Len asked confusedly.

"Yup! Dunno what the big celebration was about, but I had to drag you guys into bed!"

Rin nodded slowly, rubbing the back of her head, but deep down, something... didn't feel right. And somehow, she felt a deep fear of Miku at this moment... Plus, her legs ached... like she'd been running for a long time...

"Well, anyway!" Miku singsonged. "I'll catch you guys later! Just wanted to check up on you! See ya!"

As suddenly as she arrived, she vanished, closing the door behind her. The twins stared quietly at the spot Miku had been standing in before looking at one another. Something had definitely felt off, and they both had felt it. But they couldn't remember anything of yesterday...

"Maybe... we should just let this go," Rin said, her voice barely audible.

"Y-Yeah... And I dunno about you but... It... It kinda scares me to think about leeks, for some reason..."

"Yeah... Or our roadroller..."

As they thought of the heavy machinery parked outside the Vocaloid household, they simultaneously felt a chill run up their spines.

"Oh, Len?"

"Yeah?"

"I... I don't think we should put a supercharger in the roadroller's engine..."

"Funny... I was thinking the same thing..."

* * *

><p><em>Fin<em>

* * *

><p>Okay, okay... No, I was <em>not<em> on drugs when I wrote this. XD Just a random thought that hit me while I was at work turned into fanfic form. Truthfully, I was gonna try to throw a "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND!" thing as Miku was going into her jealous rage, but I ultimately decided against it. However, I couldn't resist when it came to the WRYYYYY bit, I've just always found that strangely hysterical. XD

As for the Kagamine roadroller, I was actually picturing a roadroller from some vid on Youtube. WRYYY in the hood or something like that. The idea of it was just so utterly, ridiculously ludicrous that I couldn't help but add it in.

I broke down and made Miku and Luka have themselves a moment. XP I can't help but feel I may have ended up writing myself into a corner with this one, to be honest, but I overall liked it well enough.

I'm done. xD Lemme know what you guys think! 'Til next time! ^_^


	7. When I Get Home

Reviews make me smile. You guys rock!

Long author note incoming...

Okay, so this was my first attempt at expanding beyond the Vocaloid household. This was also an excuse for me to try a few things, like writing a much sillier Luka, and mixing in more romance and drama (nothing too horribad, so don't click the back button just yet XD). I hope you guys enjoy this one, though I admit that I go off on mini-rants a bit, since I'm a disgruntled office worker myself LOL! I kept the occupations purposely vague, since for the most part, an office drone is still an office drone, so I'll leave it up to your imaginations. :)

I was sticking to Luka having teal/turquoise eyes before, but I decided to go with ocean-blue in this one. I honestly can't tell, since it seems like her eye color changes depending on whose work I'm looking at. XD I think blue or teal suits her most though (take a wild guess why I like the teal shade for her eyes... XD)

Oh yeah, and since I know I'll prolly get chewed on for this, but seeing how this is based off Miku's version of the song (and from listening to it, it's just way too easy for me to imagine her married to Luka XD), yes, there's gay marriage in this. I will be the first to admit that I don't really know anything when it comes to that, but please work with me here, people. And to my knowledge, I don't think Japan allows gay marriage. All I've gotta say to that is "I reject your reality and substitute my own." :P

Anyways, that aside, hope you guys enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything related to the Vocaloids, or anything else, save for this humble piece of fanfiction.

* * *

><p>Title: When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends To Be Dead<p>

Summary: "And she's been doing it _all_ week! I mean, I know she's always had a screw loose in that cavern she calls a head, but come _on!_"

* * *

><p>"<em>Ne, Luka?"<em>

"_Hm?" came the dreamy, contented reply from the head resting on her shoulder._

"_I um... Er... Well... Gah, I don't even know how to begin..."_

_Luka lifted her head to look at her. "Something wrong, Miku?"_

"_Wrong? Er, no, not really... Not at all... it's just um... Uh..." The teal-haired woman ruffled her hair in frustration. "Gah! Why is this so hard to say?"_

_Luka gazed at her curiously, ocean-blue eyes blinking uncomprehendingly. Seeing this, Miku slowly stopped her display of frustration and calmed down, trying to choose her words carefully._

"_Luka... we've... we've been dating for a long time... and well... w-we've had some great times and all but... like... we... um... well, you and I... er... um..."_

_U__nseen to Miku as she kept fumbling with her words, an expression of deep fear had begun to grow on Luka's face. She shot from her position sitting beside her against the car into a standing position, eyes welling up with tears as she stared at her with hurt and disbelief. "M-Miku... are you... are you breaking up with me?"_

_A pair of teal eyes__ went up to her, blank with confusion. "...Huh?"_

"_P-Please don't__ leave me!" Luka begged, beginning to cry. "I... I don't know what I did wrong, but I'll make it up to you! I swear! I-I wouldn't know what to do without you! I-"_

"_Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Miku darted into a standing position as well, waving her hands in front of herself in panic. "No, that __**totally **__came out wrong! I-I'm not breaking up with you! Calm down, sweetie! It's just..."_

_Panic subsided, and she was once again at a loss for words, __her hands moving as if trying to say what she couldn't manage to even think to say. Well... at least her beloved's tears had stopped. The pink-haired woman looked at her with confusion, waiting for her to say her piece. Miku sighed, rubbing the back of her head. Forget it. She'd just make it up as she went._

"_Luka... We've been together for a while now, and... It's really great being with you. I love you so much, but now I..." She sighed, losing steam already and fighting the urge to ruffle her hair in agitation. "I... don't just want waking up beside you, waking up in each other's arms to be a weekend thing. I want it to be an everyday thing. I want you to be the first thing I see in the mornings, and the last thing I see before I fall asleep. I...__ You're... I can't say it any other way: you're the one for me."_

_Luka blushed, feeling Miku's sincerity. But what was she getting at...?_

_Summoning up her courage, Miku fell to one knee, fumbling briefly as she fished out a small velvet box from her jeans pocket. She opened it gingerly and extended it to her as the pink-haired woman's eyes widened._

"_Megurine Luka..." she said, fighting back the trembling that was trying to creep into her voice. "Will you make me the happiest woman in the world? Will you marry me?"_

_Luka covered her mouth, her eyes welling up once more with tears__, but this time for a far different reason. "M-Miku... I... I-I..." Overcome with emotion, she hurled her arms around Miku, joyful tears rolling down her face as she whispered, "Yes... I... I will marry you..."_

* * *

><p>The sound of the PA squawking an announcement rudely interrupted Hatsune Miku's reverie. She blinked as she came back from Miku-Miku Land before the announcement registered with her and she went into full-blown panic mode.<p>

_Oh shit! That's my stop!_

She jumped up from her seat on the train, nearly barreling over a few of the standing passengers in the process. Miku began to shove her way through the sea of passengers, one tide exiting and another tide entering, and muttering two apologies for every step she took. She tried to be as unobtrusive as possible but, even with her slender frame, she couldn't help but be bothersome, as she had to practically tackle people out of the way in her desperate attempt to reach the door. Dammit! The doors were going to be shutting soon!

_Oh crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap..._

An annoyingly high-pitched whining noise began to fill the air. Her stomach sank as the doors began to close before her eyes...

_Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap...!_

She could almost make it! Miku turned her body so that she could squeeze her way through the narrowing portal...

_Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, __CRAP!_

With a final heroic effort, Miku barreled through and made it on the other side, the closing doors sliding shut and barely grazing the toe of her left foot. Exultant, she jumped and pumped her fist into the air victoriously.

"YATTA!"

Miku's eyes, which had closed during her brief celebration, opened again as she looked around at the other occupants of the platform. Everyone was staring at her with surprise, and some were also visibly wondering what mental hospital was missing a patient.

_Oops..._

"AHAHA!" Miku laughed, the sound as lame as it was loud, one hand behind her head. A giant sweatdrop rolled down the side of her head as she trailed off. "Ahaha... Um... Sorry."

Quickly readjusting her grip on her laptop and her briefcase, she meekly scurried off, heads down and cheeks hot with embarrassment.

_Not a proud moment in Miku history,_ she sighed in her head.

* * *

><p>Hatsune Miku knew that she was one of the luckier members of the contributing citizenry of Japan, and probably the world. Most of the peons that slaved thanklessly for their corporate masters typically hated both their jobs and their commutes. She was fortunate in that it was really only her commute that she hated. Oh sure, work at her firm had only gotten worse ever since her promotion a few months back, but at least she was starting to get <em>some<em> appreciation for her hard work. Plus the bigger salary was just what she and her wife had needed.

As she stepped into the elevator, Miku smiled at the thought of her wife, who she would be seeing in just a few more minutes. Hatsune Luka had taken on Miku's surname instead of keeping her own, reasoning, "You're the one who proposed to me, so I guess that kinda makes you the 'man' in the relationship."

This had sounded like a pretty good reason, but she'd just gone ahead and ruined it by adding, "Plus, Megurine Miku sounds lame."

Briefly rolling her eyes at this, Miku reminisced. They'd met back in high school, first meeting at the school's entrance ceremony for the first years. To say that it was love at first sight would have been about as accurate as saying that bungee jumping into an erupting volcano was one of the safest things in the world. It wasn't that they hated each other, but they had not exactly meshed at first. Despite appearances, and Luka's... development, they were actually the same age, with Luka being a few months older. At first glance, Luka had seemed to be an elegant and refined young woman. And despite the fact that she could talk the talk and walk the walk when she had to, she was actually a bit of an oddball.

...Okay, more than just a _bit_.

Once a person had cracked the outer shell, they would find out a lot of things about Luka that would completely shatter their previous images of her. The fact that she was a closet otaku was just the tip of the iceberg. She was also eccentric, impulsive, perverted, irresponsible (well, this had mostly tempered itself with age, and a few paper fan swats to the head, but old habits died hard and would still resurface every so often), and was quite possibly one of the rowdiest and horniest drunks she had ever seen. It never seemed to fail that anytime Luka got smashed, someone or something would find itself repeatedly violated while she drunkenly slurred out Miku's name, whether it was one of their friends, the unfortunate waiter or waitress that was serving their table, or a mailbox.

Needless to say, every so often, Miku still needed to break out the scary girlfriend-and-now-wife routine on Luka during these times.

But that said, Miku thought with an affectionate smile, she wouldn't have her any other way. For all her faults, she was still a sweet, caring woman, with a romantic side thinly veiled beneath the surface. Her quirkiness helped her make otherwise boring everyday life into something fresh and interesting, and those were only a few out of the many reasons Miku loved her.

And besides... she had a killer figure and was amazing in bed (hey, at least she was honest).

Coming to a stop outside of their apartment, Miku shifted the laptop in her right hand to her left, which was already occupied with her briefcase (not for the first time, Miku was glad she was much stronger than her delicate frame would otherwise indicate). She fished her keys out of her pocket and briefly fumbled with the lock before hearing the satisfying click of it unlocking. She opened the door and used her shoulder to open it the rest of the way, calling out, "I'm home!"

It is worthy of some note to say that starting from when they first began to live with each other, Luka liked greeting her wife at the door whenever she had the opportunity. For the first few months of their marriage, since Luka would often get home earlier than Miku did, the teal-haired woman often found herself being greeted at the door by Luka cheerily imitating an ideal Japanese housewife. And, as much as it annoyed her to admit it... she still got nosebleeds whenever she thought of Luka asking, "Would you like a bath? Or dinner? Or... me?"

It was utterly unfair what kind of sexy things that woman could do with her voice and posture...

Later on, after they became a single income household after the firm Luka used to work for went under and she pretty much became a housewife, this had tempered into typically smiles, hugs, and kisses at the door. Rather normal for Luka, but enjoyable nevertheless. Occasionally she'd mix it up, like the time Miku was greeted at the door by her pink-haired wife wearing a maid outfit and saying cheerfully "Welcome home, master!" (that too was under her list of things that would cause nosebleeds, damn her), so Miku got used to slightly out of the ordinary greetings.

This, however, was a first.

Miku hadn't even taken two steps into the apartment when she was brought up short. Before her, not too far from the doorway, was what appeared to be the corpse of a pink-haired woman, clad in a baby blue sweater and white knee-length skirt. She was lying facedown in a pool of blood, a knife protruding wickedly from her back and a deep red stain around the "wound". Her hair and clothes were soaked in a generous amount of blood. Her right index finger was stained in red, and near it, she had written what Miku assumed was supposed to be a dying message. She turned her head a bit to read it.

The message said, "Lol shanked D:"

Miku facefaulted, barely resisting the urge to facepalm. If a neighbor were to see this, they _definitely_ would have panicked, especially Furukawa Miki-san next door, who was always terrible with such things (and due to her gullible nature, often found herself playing games like _Silent Hill_ and _Dead Space_ late at night). Poor Miki-san would have fainted dead away, she was sure. In the name of the public good, Miku stepped fully into their apartment and closed the door behind her with her foot. A lopsided smile tugged on her lips when she turned again to see her poor "murdered" wife.

"Well," she said loudly. "I guess the cleanup will be rough today."

The "corpse" quivered with a fit of giggles. Luka looked up, grinning broadly at her. "Welcome back, Miku!"

After the pink-haired woman hopped lightly to her feet, they exchanged affectionate pecks on the lips. When they parted, Miku appraised her wife, a smile of exasperated affection tugging insistently at her mouth. "Is... there a reason for the theatrics?"

"Nope!" Luka replied cheerfully. "I just thought I'd greet my loving wife and have some fun while I was at it!"

"Yes, I can see that..."

Luka giggled, the sound unchanged from their high school days, as she trotted away down the hall. "Dinner's on the table if you want it!" she called as she stripped off her clothes and removed the knife prop from her back. Miku glared disapprovingly at the mess, but rested assured that it would get picked up one way or another. And besides, she couldn't really blame her; she'd been soaked in a copious amount of whatever she had used for blood.

"Geez..." Miku sighed, shaking her head with a wearily loving smile on her face.

She sat down to eat the curry Luka had made but cast a longing look down the hall, just in time to see Luka disappear into their room, kicking her underwear off to the side. It occurred to her that it'd be really fun to surprise Luka in the shower, and she knew full well that it would eventually lead to... _other_ things... A very tempting thought, she had to admit. Since Miku had been so busy with work lately, it had been a while since they'd last done it, so...

_No,_ she told herself, much to her libido's howling dismay. If they had sex, they wouldn't be able to part until probably four AM, and seeing how it was only Monday, Miku still needed to wake up for work tomorrow. Plus, she still had some work she hadn't been able to finish at the office waiting for her once she was done with dinner and a shower (no time for a bath, as relaxing as it would be...).

She sighed with disappointment, eating a spoonful of curry and doing her best to ignore the sound of running water and the mental images of a naked Luka underneath the spray.

_Well... maybe __some other time..._

* * *

><p><em>Ugh... <em>Miku rubbed her face hard, squeezing her eyes shut. _I swear this crap breeds when I'm not looking..._

"Still busy, babe?"

Miku halted in rubbing her face to look at Luka, who started massaging her shoulders.

"Yeah," she said around a groan of relieved pleasure. God, that felt good... "What time is it?"

"Almost eleven."

"Serious? Shit..." Miku sighed. These damned documents had taken her a lot longer than she thought they would...

"How much more do you have to do?"

"Too much," the teal-haired woman quipped dryly. "Prolly gonna take me 'til like midnight to get this finished off... Maybe even later..."

A look of disappointment flashed over Luka's face before she quickly switched to a sympathetic smile. "Alright. I'll go on ahead to bed then."

"Okay." Miku turned her head to exchange kisses with her. "Good night."

"Un. Don't stay up too late, love," Luka replied as she walked away. Smiling affectionately over her shoulder, she added, "Coffee's a crappy substitute for sleep."

"Don't I know it..." Miku groaned, grimacing. She turned back to her work, determined to finish so she could squeeze in as much time to sleep as possible.

Because of this, she missed the longing look that Luka cast on her back before she went back to walking to their bed.

* * *

><p>Miku's eye ticked as she looked down at the floor. She had just gotten home a second ago, and it looked like, in Luka's twisted mind, yesterday's evening had been such a hit, she thought she'd do it again. Of course, it was different this time. Yes, she was facedown, yes, she was in a pool of "blood", and yes, she was "dead", but there were differences. For instance, instead of a knife protruding from her back, there was an arrow through her head. There were very enthusiastic blood splatters from the entrance and exit wounds as well, and Miku began to wonder if Luka had taken to watching those crime scene investigation shows that were so popular lately. She looked down at her right index finger, dripped with red and another message not too far from her hand.<p>

Today's message was "HEADSHOT! T_T"

Miku rolled her eyes, though a small, amused grin tugged at her mouth. She lightly kicked the door shut as she said, "You play too many games, idiot."

The "corpse" trembled with laughter as Luka raised her head to meet her with a big, cheesy grin. "Well, what else can I do to keep myself amused while my loving wife is at work?"

"Point taken." After Luka had hopped to her feet, Miku pecked her on the lips, the gesture wholeheartedly returned. Once they'd parted, the teal-haired woman frowned at the arrow in Luka's head, tapping her finger against the protruding bloodied arrowhead. "You look like you came off a set for a samurai war movie or something."

"Does it look good?" For some reason, despite her playful demeanor, from Luka's questioning gaze, it seemed she wanted a real answer.

Miku wondered at that, but decided to humor her. "Well, it really does look like something outta a movie. The bloodstains look pretty good too, though granted, I've never personally known anyone who took an arrow through the temple, so I can't say if it's realistic. But aesthetically? I prefer you without the arrow. It's not like it'd do fatal damage to you besides; all your brain's development went to those chest pillows you call boobs anyway."

Luka puffed out her chest with pride, her hands on her hips as she appraised herself. "They _are_ pretty big, I've gotta say. Shapely, too. Just the way a certain someone I know likes 'em." She batted her eyelashes playfully at Miku, who reddened.

"Fair enough," she conceded. Miku looked around at the bloodstains. "You get help with these or something?"

"Nope!" Luka chirped. "All done by yours truly! And I do mean yours~"

The way she pitched her voice into a purr at the end did nothing for Miku's reddening face, but she managed to take a jab back. "A Hatsune Luka of my very own," she said dryly. "What ever shall I do with you?"

"Oh, you can do _anything_ you want with me, baby..." the pink-haired minx said in a breathy, seductive voice. She licked her lips slowly for effect, getting the desired reaction as Miku's face grew hot enough to fry an egg. The teal-haired woman scowled balefully, the glower wholeheartedly ignored as her wife giggled girlishly.

"Ass," Miku spat, lightly cuffing her on the shoulder.

"Mine _is_ nice and spank-able. Care to give it a try?" Luka asked breathily, aiming a seductive wink at her wife as she turned and bent over invitingly.

"Get back to the kitchen and make me some dinner!" the teal-haired woman snapped, lightly kicking Luka in the rump while her face did a convincing impersonation of a tomato. This only succeeded in igniting more of Luka's cheeky laughter as she walked away from her.

"Geez..." Miku huffed, heading to the living room. She set down her laptop and briefcase beside the couch before flopping onto it. She unbuttoned the top two buttons of her blouse and pulled open the folds a bit, sighing with relief. Another long day at the office over and done with, thank God. Someone had dropped the ball and not only had there been three deadlines she had to meet, she'd been ambushed with another one twenty minutes after it had actually passed! And there was still some more work to be done too...

Miku groaned, but at the same time, knew she couldn't really complain. The fact that in this crappy economy she was able to support two people easily, even after being crushed beneath the heels of the steel-tipped boots better known as Taxes, Student Loans, and Bills, was no mean feat. They actually had it pretty good, gigantic workloads and all. Still, that didn't stop her from complaining every so often... She began to understand why her senpai Honne Dell was a chain-smoker; if it wasn't for the fact that she couldn't stand the smell, she might have considered taking it up herself. Still, she was quite proud of herself for being able to support them both on her income alone. And the promotion had been a godsend when it came about.

When she and Luka had first gotten married, they both had jobs, though they paid less than what Miku earned now. About two months into their marriage, the firm Luka worked for went under and laid everybody off, which had led to worries over money for a while, especially since no matter how many applications Luka sent out, no one seemed interested in hiring. Miku's promotion had laid their worries to rest, though Luka had still continued looking. Now, about seven months after being laid off, she had pretty much become a housewife, partly by choice, and partly by circumstances. Not that Miku minded; on the contrary, she actually rather liked it, even if the mental image of Luka being so domestic was still enough to make her laugh at times. But really, even though she'd never thought about it before, it was quite comforting in its own way. She cast an affectionate glance over at the kitchen, watching her wife humming lightly to herself as she made their din... ner...

Miku's eye twitched before she exploded, "For God's sake, Luka! Will you at least take that arrow out of your head while you're cooking? That's freaking disturbing!"

* * *

><p>"And she's been doing it <em>all<em> week! I mean, I know she's always had a screw loose in that cavern she calls a head, but come _on!_"

"What's going on now?"

Miku paused in mid-rant to look over at the young woman joining them, their junior coworker, recently-married Kamui Rin. She sat on her right on the bench they all were sitting on, unpacking her lunch and smiling in greeting to both Miku and the man sitting to the teal-haired woman's left, Honne Dell. Dell greeted her with a slight lift of his eyebrows as he swallowed a bite of his sandwich.

"Miku's been ranting," he said before taking another bite.

"About?"

Miku exploded, "When I get home, my wife always pretends to be dead!"

Neither of the members of her intended audience (she wasn't aware her explosion had briefly attracted the attention of a few of the other people that happened to be in the park at the time) so much as batted an eye. Dell did not react because he had already heard the tirade, and even if he hadn't, he would have reacted with the same nonchalance he had displayed before, seeing how several years of being Miku's senpai and friend was more than enough time to get used to her. Rin did not react because she had been friends with Miku since junior high and was far too familiar with both Miku and her wife to be surprised at all.

Seeing that her audience was not reacting to her outburst, Miku charged forth onto empty ramparts.

"I just really don't get it!" she fumed, confused rather than anything else. "Like, this whole week, she has been greeting me at the door pretending to be dead! On Monday, it was a knife in the back! On Tuesday, an arrow in the head! On Wednesday, she was dressed up like a soldier and just lying there! And she just had this whole thing going! Camouflage uniform, gun, boots, helmet, she even got dog tags from somewhere! And she _really_ laid the fake blood on thick! There were bullet holes all over her body, one right between her eyes, blood spatters all over the floor... I was just surprised she didn't cut her hair to get more into character, but if she had, I would've had to kill her! And then yesterday, she was a dead sunfish! A _sunfish!_"

Miku threw her hands into the air, almost resulting in the bento on her lap taking a dive for the floor (Rin slapped a hand over it to prevent said unfortunate event, and Dell managed to rescue a chopstick that unknowingly went flying out of Miku's grasp), exclaiming, "I don't even know where the hell she got the costume! I didn't even know they _had _those! Seriously, I almost closed the door on her; it was ridiculous! Thank God she didn't try cooking in that thing; she would've set herself and the apartment on fire! And if that pink-headed crackpot had tried, I would've had to tear the thing off of her!"

"I bet she would've liked that," Dell quipped. Having finished his lunch, he fished into his pocket for a cigarette but stopped just as his fingertips brushed the familiar pack. Sighing quietly, he reminded himself that he was trying to quit, seeing how _no one_ around him appreciated his smoking habit, whether it was the two women sitting beside him, or his wife Haku. And with a baby on the way, it was best that he quit sooner rather than later. Still, it didn't make the call of the nicotine demons much easier to resist...

No one reacted either to the rude manner in which Miku was speaking of her wife; they had all been friends for far too long to think anything of it, and had long since grown used to how verbally abusive the Hatsunes were to each other.

Still not getting the reactions she thought this kind of behavior deserved, Miku fumed before taking a stab at a different approach.

"I mean, Rin-chan, how would you like it if Gakupo suddenly started greeting you at the door like that? Or Dell, what if Haku-chan started doing that to you?"

Both took a moment to consider this. Rin's attempt to hold back her laughter resulted in a most unladylike snort, and Dell grinned with unabashed amusement.

"That would actually be pretty funny!" Rin chortled. "In fact, maybe I should do that to Gak-kun sometime. Sometimes he has to stay late at the university, so I get home before he does." The idea and above all, the imagined look on his face made her break out into a broad grin.

"Well, it'd be pretty unusual of Haku to do that," Dell admitted. "But... I think I'd like it."

Miku stared incredulously at them. "But...!" she tried to protest.

"Ne, Miku-chan," Rin interjected, suddenly serious. "Are you honestly surprised that Luka-chan's doing this?"

Miku winced. She had her there. Anyone who befriended either Luka or her quickly discovered the oddball that was Hatsune Luka, and Dell, Rin, and their respective spouses had been friends for too long with both of them.

"But y'know, Miku-chan..." Or at least, that's what it sounded like. Rin had taken the opportunity to bite into her meal and was talking with her mouth full, making her pretty hard to understand. Swallowing, she continued, "Sounds to me like she's just bored."

"Bored? What do you mean?" Clearly this had not occurred to the teal-haired woman.

"Well, think about it." Again, she _thought_ that was what she said. Even after all these years, Rin had never quite fixed her habit of occasionally talking with her mouth full. She thankfully swallowed before she spoke again. "Have you ever thought about how boring it is to just sit at home all day, knowing you're not gonna see your lover until they get off work and then make it through the traffic home? I should know; I had to do that for two years once I got outta college cuz no one wanted some 22-year-old college grad without a magical five years of experience." She rolled her eyes. "I was just lucky Len and Gak-kun would support my broke ass during that time."

"She's got a point," Dell added. He didn't really need to elaborate further. Haku had been a co-worker of Luka's until she too got laid off when the company was liquidated. Haku's situation was much the same as Luka's, minus the rosette-haired woman's strange tendencies.

"But yeah, I mean... it's _boring_," Rin continued. She had actually finished her mouthful before speaking this time. "And it's not like you can even harass them at work. Not much fun sending naughty pics of yourself to your husband if he won't even be able to look at his cell until lunchtime." Rin pouted.

While Dell's lips quirked with amusement at her pouting, Miku hardly looked like she was paying attention, staring into space with her eyes out of focus with thought. The other two glanced at each other and shrugged, making light conversation as the teal-haired woman chewed on what had been said in their conversation.

* * *

><p>As the day wore on, Miku's thoughts kept drifting to what she and her friends had talked about at lunch.<p>

Could boredom really be the reason Luka was doing this? She thought back to when they had been younger.

Back in high school, they'd had a hard time having their love be accepted (though Luka's parents quickly sang a different tune once they saw how well Miku could handle their unruly daughter), and by the time the worst of the drama had subsided, they'd only had precious few months before they went off to college. Though they ended up going to different schools, they had mutually decided to keep their relationship going. Throughout college and their first years in the working world, Miku and Luka remained an affectionate and interesting couple. Miku never really asked for much, because that had never been her nature; for her, no matter how busy they got, just being able to see Luka made her happy. Whenever they got a moment, the two often liked harassing each other with suggestive texts, or better yet, pictures of each other and sending them back and forth. Luka, mega-pervert that she was, had naturally started this, but Miku wasn't much better, seeing how she delighted in retaliating in kind.

One of their favorite pastimes, which they were only able to really partake in on the weekends, was to just go for a midnight drive with just the two of them, usually just going to places where they could see the stars, or if they were out late enough, drive to where they could see the ocean and watch the sunrise.

Miku had fond memories of those drives. They did occasionally have make-out sessions, and sometimes went further than that (Miku's inner pervert drooled at this thought), but most times, they would just sit and enjoy the view. Sometimes they would sit in the car, sometimes on the hood, sometimes sitting and leaning their backs against the car. Sometimes they'd talk, sometimes they would just enjoy the quiet, leaning against each other's shoulders with their fingers lightly brushing against each other. It didn't matter what they did, for the important thing was that they were always together. Miku remembered that it was on one such drive that she had proposed to Luka, illuminated by the full moon with the twinkling stars as their witnesses.

So much changed after they'd gotten married...

It wasn't that she'd gotten bored of her after they'd gotten married. It was utterly impossible to grow tired of that woman. For the first few months, things were fine, and weren't much different from when they'd just been a dating couple. But after Luka had gotten laid off, there just hadn't been time, for Miku had taken on all the overtime she could get, too worried about making ends meet.

Sudden realization made Miku pause. Once she'd gotten promoted, there had just been so little time and so much work that they really hadn't had much chance to do _anything._ About the most they could really do was just kiss, maybe snuggle a little bit... Emphasis on "maybe" and "a little bit", because Miku knew she'd been guilty of working on crap over the weekends, which completely defeated one of the great benefits of a nine to five that she had been so happy for.

She felt so stupid. She'd been so absorbed in her career that she had completely forgotten about the one who was most dear to her.

Miku absently sipped from the cup next to her laptop, half-filled with coffee that had long since gone cold. Instead, her eyes were focused on a picture she kept at her cubicle, still within her peripheral vision when staring at her screen. It was a picture of them hanging out with their friends at an amusement park a few months before they'd gotten married. Miku had an arm thrown around Luka's waist, sticking her tongue out at the camera as her free hand pulled down one of her lower eyelids, her expression easily summed up as "Mine. So there!" Luka was smiling broadly at the camera, both hands busy with their ice cream cones as she blushed brightly. She smiled fondly at it, remembering the sudden possessive mood that had seized her at that moment when a grinning Rin had taken the picture. There really wasn't any way to miss the love that sparkled in both girls' eyes in that picture. And, really, as far as their feelings went, nothing had changed, save to grow stronger.

_Does Luka want to return to those days?_

Sadly, such a thing would be impossible. It wasn't that Miku didn't miss those days. She would have died if she had to live apart from Luka again, but her behavior the past few days... the playful banter, the innuendo, the overall silliness... It reminded her so much of when they'd been younger, when everything felt so much simpler and easier. But there was no way for them to turn back the clock, though Miku too wished they could do that. What they had now would have been nothing less than paradise, if it were not for the fact that she had pretty much transformed into a workaholic.

But... even if they couldn't turn the clock back... Miku felt an affectionate smile growing on her lips, her fingertips brushing against Luka's face in the picture. Well, they couldn't turn the clock back, but they could at least make the most of what they had now. And if this was the shape their love was going to take, she would accept it with open arms, because in its own way, this was fine too. Though, Miku promised herself, she would do what she could to also change how things were herself.

With a final fond smile, she returned to her work, though her mind was still wandering.

_I wonder what kind of death she'll have today?_

* * *

><p>Miku stared down at Luka's "corpse", arms folded over her chest as her briefcase and laptop rested against her legs. Today, her wife was lying on her back, one hand clutching an empty bottle of pills and her face set in such a horribly contorted expression that it was difficult for Miku to not burst out laughing on the spot.<p>

"How selfish of you," she remarked. "Couldn't leave me any for my headache?"

The "corpse" shifted its expression into a scowl, which the teal-haired woman met with a smirk. "How rude!" Luka pouted. "You come across your poor wife who has died of an overdose, and all you can think about is your own damn headache!"

Miku's smirk became a grin. "Good riddance, guess I can call the mistress a little more freely now."

Luka stuck her tongue out at her before hopping to her feet. "Such a horrible woman I married," Luka lamented overdramatically. "If only I'd known better than to marry a jerk."

"Chicks dig jerks, haven't you heard?" Miku quipped, grinning cheekily.

Luka glared at her, but ultimately was unable to keep it up for long before breaking down into giggles. "Missed you," she said, kissing her softly.

"Missed you too," Miku replied, returning the kiss. This time, instead of just leaving it as a peck, she held the kiss for longer, letting her fingers run through her wife's silky hair as she did. Luka made a soft, muffled noise of surprise, but was just as enthusiastic when she quickly began to respond.

They slowly broke the kiss, Miku smirking up at her and Luka blushing lightly through her smile. "What was that all about?" she asked.

The teal-haired woman feigned innocence, tipping her head to the side. "What, I'm not allowed to kiss my own wife?"

"That's not what I meant, you douche," Luka laughed as she shoved her playfully. "It's just... it's been a while since we've kissed like that."

She had trailed off towards the end, causing her to sound so shy and adorable that Miku had to restrain herself from jumping her on the spot. "Yeah, that's true," she conceded. "But y'know, the fact you even had to say something like that kinda reflects badly on me as a wife, doesn't it?"

Luka blinked, a confused expression creeping onto her face. "I... guess? I don't really get it."

Miku smiled affectionately. She reached up to touch Luka's cheek, earning her a look of surprise and a blush, though there was no mistaking the fact that she was still leaning into her touch. "Ah. Never mind."

She hugged her tightly, and after a moment, Luka returned the gesture, apparently still a bit confused by how affectionate Miku was being. It hurt a little, since it was just another reminder to her of how much she'd been neglecting her, but the teal-haired woman cheerfully told herself that she would just need to fix that so that it was something her wife wouldn't even bat an eye at. She closed her eyes, enjoying the joined warmth of their bodies.

_Sorry for neglecting you..._

"Did you say something, Miku?"

"Nope."

Luka didn't look convinced, but nodded all the same. They slowly, reluctantly parted from their embrace. Luka smiled shyly at her before turning to head back to the kitchen. Miku was probably hungry, and she hadn't made dinner just yet so-

Luka yelped as she found herself suddenly swept off her feet and being carried bridal style by her wife. She turned a shocked look onto her, meeting the wicked smirk on Miku's face. "M-M-Miku?" she stammered out. "Wh-What're you d-d-doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Miku asked innocently while she carried her toward the bedroom. Inwardly, she patted herself on the back for being surprisingly strong (made easier by the fact that Luka was actually very light). "I've had a long day, and now I'm hungry~" She kicked the bedroom door shut behind them.

Luka squeaked as she was dropped onto their bed, bouncing briefly before being left lying on her back, chewing her lower lip with nervous anticipation as Miku began to crawl toward her. "B-But... Wh-What about dinner?" Luka asked meekly. She'd never been able to resist Miku when she was in this mood... not that she was complaining.

Miku's grin became absolutely predatory. She licked her lips as she said in a breathy voice, "First, I'm gonna help myself to my cute wife~~~"

The pink-haired woman gasped as her wife's lips attached to her neck, her fingers deftly sliding up her shirt. "A-Ah...! M-Mi... ku...!"

Miku chuckled smugly, reveling in her obvious power.

"Itadakimasu~~~"

* * *

><p><em>Fin<em>

* * *

><p>As you can see, this one contained a lot more mush than the previous stuff I've written. XD Couldn't really help it, it all just sort of flowed this way x_X Personally, I was rather surprised I didn't see any works based off of this song; I found the song both hilarious and also rather touching, so I tried my best to see if I could capture that same feel. I tried to lean more towards funny, but I think I leaned more heavily to the romance side. x_x And yeah, I let myself be a little perverted in some spots, but nothing too bad again. XD Could just be an excuse to have some fun.<p>

To be honest, I didn't really want to use "Itadakimasu" at the end, but I couldn't find an equivalent phrase that I liked in that spot. Just an FYI for those who don't know, but "Itadakimasu" is what you say before you eat. I think literally translated, it means like "Thanks for the food." I know there's an equivalent for Korean, but... yeah.

As for the secondary pairings, the Haku/Dell slant was from my curious forays into Pixiv and seeing a few fanarts of them during my search for Haku fanart (I'm actually rather attached to her, so I might try to write her into my fics in the future), and I thought they were pretty cute. The Gakupo/Rin slant is entirely the fault of SinnersLikeUs; after reading some of her works, I've found myself rather hooked on the pairing! XD

Anyways, if you made it this far, please lemme know what you think! 'Til next time! :D


	8. A String of Misfortunes

Writer's block sucks so much... -_-

Another AU one, this time in a high school setting. I'll prolly go back to the Vocaloid household soon enough, I miss writing about that crazy house. XD Anyways, here's my latest addition, hope you guys enjoy. ^_^

LukaFan: In response to your review on my other fic "Dance", yeah, I actually did check out the mikufes site, Luka's eyes are really different from the others'. Surprised me a lot! XD Looked really cool though!

DISCLAIMER: Still own nothing.

* * *

><p>Title: A String of Misfortunes<p>

Summary: Stood up on dates again and again, Megurine Luka is not particularly lucky when it comes to love. Well, lucky for her, her best friend Hatsune Miku is always there when she needs her!

* * *

><p>Megurine Luka was for the most part an average sixteen-year-old girl. Well, aesthetically, many would have begged to differ. While she had been awkward and shy as a child, she had matured into a lovely young woman, with arresting blue eyes, lustrous pink hair that cascaded down to her waist, and a figure that many of her peers would have killed for (and would have been extremely pissed off to learn that she could eat whatever she wanted and still keep). But it was what was on the inside that counted, and on the inside, she was still quite a bit of that shy girl that could never quite say what she wanted to say.<p>

But this is all beside the point. The point was, whether she knew it or not, there were quite a few people who had their eyes on her. Not that she noticed, for two reasons. The first was that Luka often was too absorbed in her studies to really pay much attention to these sorts of things (and often felt compelled to study even more thoroughly because many of her friends would ask for help on their homework). The second, and far bigger one, was that, when romantic affections were concerned, Megurine Luka was about as dense as they came, so unless her admirers came straight out and asked her to go on a date with them, she would _never_ figure out that they were interested.

Eventually, her admirers caught on to this trait of hers, and the first of them, an upperclassman named Kamui Gakupo who somehow managed to be dashingly handsome even though his appearance did lean towards the feminine side, dared to do what no other had done before: he asked her out.

"Please go out with me, Megurine-san."

Luka blinked. "Eh? But... we're already outside, Kamui-senpai..." she remarked innocently, glancing around at the trees behind the gym that he had asked her to meet him at.

Yes. She was just _that_ dense.

Gakupo shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant. I meant 'please go out with me' like on a date."

The pinkette merely stared at him in astonishment. "Er... I..." She blushed, this being the first time she had ever been asked out. Smiling shyly, she replied, "O-Okay... Did... you have anything in mind, Kamui-senpai?"

He smiled easily. "Nothing too fancy. Mm... How about we catch a movie tomorrow? Sound good to you? Maybe around one in the afternoon?"

Luka nodded, blushing lightly. "Un... That sounds good, senpai..."

"Great!" he said, beaming. "I'll see you later then, I gotta get going to kendo practice!"

He ran off, waving over his shoulder, and Luka waved after him, still with her smile playing on her lips.

She chewed her lower lip while smiling. This was definitely a first for her! She just had to tell her best friend! Unable to contain her excitement, she whipped out her cell phone, a tuna strap hanging from it, and quickly called up Hatsune Miku. She usually didn't pick up until two rings, and as usual, in the middle of the third ring, her friend picked up with a "Hello?"

"Hi, Miku!"

"Hey, you! What's up?"

"I just couldn't wait to tell you," Luka said excitedly. "I got asked out on a date!"

"Oh, really?" Miku sounded surprised. "Well, that's great! Who was it?"

"You know Kamui-senpai from class 3-C?"

"No way! Seriously?"

"Yeah! I was surprised too, to be honest... What should I do?" Nervousness seeped into her voice. "I-I've never been on a date before, so I-"

"Ah, chill!" Miku said jovially. "Just be yourself! You'll be fine! Ah, hey, I gotta run! Catch ya later, yeah? And lemme know how it goes!"

"Un, will do!"

* * *

><p>It was at times like this that Luka wished she had read more shoujo manga, or had an older sister, or something. She hadn't the slightest idea what to do or how to dress for a date... or anything really. Still, she waited at the place in the park she and Gakupo agreed to meet at. She had arrived about ten minutes before the time they'd agreed on, so she seated herself on a bench and prepared herself for a bit of a wait. Luka had decided on going casual but still (she hoped) nice, currently wearing a denim skirt, white shirt and a pink cardigan. She fidgeted nervously, wondering how everything was supposed to break down. Then she remembered her best friend's encouraging words to just be herself. She smiled at the memory of Miku's confident words, and slowly, the jitters went away.<p>

_Yosh! You can do this, Luka!_

And so with renewed confidence, she continued to wait.

...and wait...

...and wait...

...and wait...

Worriedly, Luka looked down at her wristwatch. It was twenty minutes past the time they had agreed to meet up. She frowned and checked her cell phone. Well... she hadn't missed any calls... no texts either... Luka sighed. Maybe this was all just a cruel prank...?

"Hi-hi, Luka!"

Startled, the pink-haired girl looked up to see an extremely close view of her best friend leaning down toward her, a gigantic grin plastered on her face.

"M-Miku?" she asked with alarm. "What are you doing here?"

"Ehe~ I just got done with a little window shopping, so I was taking a stroll and just happened to see you! Where's Kamui-senpai at?" she asked with genuine curiosity. "Bathroom?"

Luka looked down dejectedly. Softly, she mumbled, "I... I think I've been stood up..."

Miku's grin vanished into shock, then guilt. "Oh... Oh, Luka, I'm... I'm so sorry..."

The pinkette flashed her a tiny, half-hearted smile, trying her best to hide how upset she was. She felt so stupid for getting so worked up over this... Sighing quietly, she said, "Well... I guess it happens, right?"

She wiped away a tear before it could fall, trying to pass it off as getting something in her eye. Another tear started in her other eye, but that one was brushed aside by Miku. "Hey now, don't cry," the tealette said comfortingly. With a gentle smile, she added, "It's not like you had any particular feelings for him anyway, ne?"

Luka conceded this with a nod. It was true that she'd only really ever thought of Kamui-senpai as another boy. And, if she thought about it, all her excitement was from the fact that she'd been asked out for the first time. So, she supposed, it really could have been _anyone_ who asked her out, and it would've been the same... Except maybe they wouldn't have stood her up like he did. She felt sad all over again at this thought.

"Hey, tell ya what!" Miku chirped, grinning again as she clasped Luka's hands in her own. "Forget him! How about _we_ catch a movie, just us girls! Ne?"

Luka blinked, but smiled shyly and nodded her assent after recovering from her surprise at the sudden proposal. She was already dressed up anyway, and she didn't think going back home to eat chocolate and mope around the house would've been an enjoyable use of her time. Besides, instead of spending her time flustered and uncomfortable around some boy she hardly knew, she'd be with her best friend, who always made her feel comfortable and happy.

"Sweet!" Miku seized her by the arm and used her free hand to pump her fist into the air. "Then let's go!" she cheered energetically.

The rest of Luka's day was happily spent in the company of her best friend, and Luka's only real complaint was that Miku insisted on seeing that new horror movie that had come out, so poor Luka (who wasn't any good with horror movies) spent the better part of the two hours it ran crying out in fright and clinging to Miku's arm while the tealette unabashedly enjoyed herself. At any rate, she had fun, and Luka was quickly able to forget that she had ever been stood up at all.

* * *

><p>At school on Monday, Luka noted with great alarm that Gakupo was so heavily bandaged that he looked more akin to a mummy than a teenaged boy. It was said that after most of the kendo club's members had left on Friday, Gakupo had suddenly been attacked by what rumor said was a possessed suit of kendo training armor angrily wielding a shinai. Despite being the ace of the school's kendo club, Gakupo had been no match for the sheer rage behind each strike, and after a long battle, he had been beaten into unconsciousness by said possessed suit.<p>

"Sounds like some kinda ghost story, huh?" Miku remarked with amusement.

"U-Un..." Luka quickly changed the topic. She'd never been any good with ghosts.

* * *

><p>A little less than a week later, Luka's next suitor worked up the nerve to ask her out, an upperclassman named Shion Kaito. He was a kind and friendly sort of guy. Perhaps a little on the silly side, but Luka found him to be rather boyishly charming. He asked her out during lunchtime, and Luka accepted. However, she didn't know much about him, and he admitted he didn't know very much about her either, so he thought it best if they just took an opportunity to first get to know each other.<p>

"There's a nice little place we can go to after school. They've got great ice cream! Er, if you like ice cream, I mean."

Luka smiled and nodded. "Un. I happen to really like ice cream, though sometimes I eat too much of it," she admitted sheepishly.

Kaito laughed lightly. "Sadly, same here. Sometimes I'm amazed I don't get brain freeze more often!"

Luka giggled, finding herself thinking he was a genuinely nice boy, and that she wouldn't mind spending some time with him casually. They parted ways, since Luka had already agreed to meet up with Miku for lunch on the roof. Once there, she found that Miku was already in the middle of eating. The two friends greeted each other happily, and Luka apologized for being late, explaining that she had been asked out by Kaito.

Miku smiled brightly at this. "Wow, that's great, Luka! Who knew that you'd get asked out again so soon for another date!"

"I guess... It's not really much of a date though, just getting to know each other, really."

"Aww, don't be so bashful!" Miku laughed. She pinched her cheek, grinning as she cooed, "Though you're so cute when you are~~~ Kyaa~~"

"O-Ow, that hurts! Please stop doing that to me!" Luka whimpered.

* * *

><p>Luka and Kaito met up at the cozy restaurant, Luka ordering a simple ice coffee, and Kaito ordering a gigantic sundae. The two spent their time amiably, talking about lighthearted topics and just getting to know each other. Just as their orders came out, he excused himself to go to the bathroom, so the pinkette waited for him while sipping on her drink. He was a nice guy, even if she wasn't sure she'd actually think of him as a boyfriend kind of guy... a friend, certainly. Well, maybe that opinion would change?<p>

Time wore on. Five minutes became ten. Ten minutes became fifteen. Luka began to wonder what was taking him so long. Just shy of the twenty minute mark, Luka heard her cell phone ring. She checked it curiously, only to find that Kaito had texted her to say that something had come up and he needed to run. Luka sighed, feeling disappointment sinking into her again. She wondered if this counted as being stood up... and, she thought while frowning at the enormous sundae, she'd have to pay for something that wasn't even hers. She sighed again. Was it something she'd said...? And it looked like things had been going well too...

"Well, well, who do we have here?" a happy voice chimed.

Luka looked up to meet the grinning face of her best friend. She blinked in surprise. "Oh, Miku. What're you doing here?"

"Was just dropping in to grab myself a drink to go, but then I saw you here," Miku replied. She looked around. "Where's Shion-senpai at? I thought you were supposed to meet him?"

"Un," Luka replied glumly. "He went to go to the bathroom... that was... more than twenty minutes ago..." She sighed sadly. "I guess I got stood up again. _And_ I'm stuck with the bill..."

Miku winced. "Ouch. What a flake." She glanced down at the sundae. "Hm... well, if he's not coming back, it'd be a shame to let this go to waste!" The tealette invited herself to the seat across from her friend. "I can't finish this alone though. What say we get another spoon and tag team this? Plus it's no fair for you to get stuck with the bill, so I'll pay for it!"

Luka smiled, her gloomy mood instantly forgotten. "Okay. Thanks, Miku."

"Ahh, what're friends for, yeah? C'mon, the sundae's melting and I'm not in the mood for soup!"

* * *

><p>Not long after, the two girls stumbled out of the restaurant, groaning and clutching their heads from the brain freeze. <em>Way<em> too much ice cream...

"A-At least it was worth it, right?" Miku groaned through a pained grimace that _could_ have passed for a smile.

Luka could only nod; the speech center of her brain hadn't quite unfrozen just yet.

* * *

><p>The next day, rumors circulated through the school that Shion Kaito had gotten jumped outside of a restaurant, seemingly for no apparent reason. Whoever had done it, they had beaten him up very badly before leaving him to rot in the alley. Money had been taken from his wallet, so everyone assumed it was a mugging of sorts, but it had been an awfully exact amount. When Luka heard the amount, she noticed it sounded quite close to the amount that Kaito's treat had cost when he had ordered it.<p>

"Crazy coincidence, huh?" Miku whistled when she heard the news.

Luka agreed. How strange indeed...

"I hope he's okay," she said worriedly.

"Oh," Miku replied with a casual air. "I wouldn't worry. I'm sure he is."

* * *

><p>The third person to ask Luka out was a boy in her class who had apparently had a crush on her for some time, Kagamine Len. They decided on just having lunch and maybe a movie after he got off work on Saturday, from his part-time job at the family mart not too far from their school. Luka was forced to tell Miku about it, since they'd thought of hanging out that day and now that she had a date, she wouldn't be able to.<p>

"Sorry, Miku..." Luka said guiltily.

"Ah, think nothing of it!" Miku answered cheerily. "We'll just hang out on Sunday, 'kay?"

"Sure!"

* * *

><p>Because it made the most sense to them to just go straight to lunch after Len got off work, Luka got herself dressed and dolled up (sort of... she looked nice, but Luka was sure that if she knew more about these kinds of things, she could've looked even better...) before heading to the family mart. As she stepped in, she was greeted warmly by Len, who was standing at the counter and waiting for customers. They chatted for a bit, Len commenting that there hadn't been very many customers today, not that he was complaining. Luka found the blond boy to be adorable. A little boyish for her tastes, but Len seemed to have full confidence that he'd grow out of it once he hit his very tardy growth spurt. The end of his shift came, and Len headed into the back to get changed, apparently having brought more casual wear to change into for their date. Luka agreed to wait, so she busied herself with flipping through the magazines while she waited.<p>

"Welcome!" a voice suddenly cried energetically from the counter. Luka looked up in alarm to the source of the voice, seeing...

"Kagamine-kun?" she asked, blinking. Why was he still in his work clothes? And... what was with the hair clips? And the big white ribbon in his hair?

"You mean Len? Oh, no, that's my brother!" the Len-look-alike replied (and this time, Luka noted the voice was a bit higher pitched than Len's). "I'm his twin sister, Rin! Pleased to meetcha!"

"Oh, um... hi," Luka said, a bit overwhelmed by the girl's energy. "Er, I was waiting for Kagamine-kun... We were supposed to head out for lunch together."

"Ooooh, like a date?" the blonde girl exclaimed, clearly being nosy and making no effort to hide it. She leaned over the counter and looked up and down at Luka. "Un, you definitely fit the description! Len wouldn't shut up when it came to this date of his! I can see why though!" She nodded, making satisfied noises with each nod and oblivious to the scarlet hue dusting Luka's cheeks.

"I-It's not... really a date..." she stammered quietly.

"Well, anyway!" Rin continued, barreling right over her. "I don't actually work here! I just stole Len's uniform; he's almost got my exact same sizes, didja know? Anyways, lemme go take a look for him! Bee are bee!"

With that, she zipped off, leaving a very overwhelmed Luka behind. The difference between those two was quite large, seeing how Len seemed much more reserved and shy than the boisterous girl she had just met... There was a chime at the door as another customer came in, and Luka looked over instinctively. She was surprised to see Miku walk in, humming lightly to herself.

"Miku?"

As if just noticing her, the tealette looked over. She broke out immediately into a bright smile. "Well, hey you! What're you still doing here? Thought you'd be out on your date with Kagamine-kun?"

Worriedly, Luka answered, "It seems he's gone missing... We were supposed to head out twenty minutes ago..."

Miku frowned. "Eee... Hope everything's okay."

It was at this moment that Rin came zipping back in, her grin dampened into a look of mild worry. "Hm... He's not here. His clothes are gone too. Maybe he left already?"

Luka sighed despondently. "Not again..."

Miku instantly came to her friend's rescue. "Ahh, cheer up, Luka! I may not be Kagamine-kun, but you can at least have lunch with me! A best friend is good enough, ne?"

Despite her poor mood, Luka at least felt a small smile tugging at her mouth from Miku's offer. "At least you won't stand me up," the pinkette said.

"Nope! Never have, never will! C'mon, it just so happens that I'm starving!"

The two left side by side as Rin waved vigorously after them, calling, "Thank you! Please come again soon~~~!"

* * *

><p>As the two girls had lunch at a diner not too far from an arcade they liked to frequent, Luka griped glumly, "Boys are such flakes..."<p>

Miku nodded sagely. "Indeed. Jerks."

After they finished their meal, Miku dragged her into the arcade, where they spent the day blasting zombies, or beating each other up with ridiculous 300 hit combos in the various fighting games, or trying to shove each other off of the dance machines while they cleared each stage. This was always accompanied by giggles and playful banter, and before they'd even started their first game, Luka had forgotten all about the date she was supposed to have today.

* * *

><p>Later, after the girls returned to school for the week, Luka heard a rumor that Kagamine Len had been found last Saturday stuffed into a locker in the employee changing room of the family mart he worked part-time at. His mouth, wrists, and ankles had been bound in duct tape after he'd been stripped down to his underwear (but given the number of nosebleeds this drew from his legions of fans, it was very well possible that this was just hopeful exaggeration). The rumor went on to say that his casual clothes had been inexplicably found in the dumpster behind the family mart, only discovered after his twin sister had stepped outside to try calling him again and heard the suspicious ringing of his cell phone in the dumpster. In addition, a newly exhausted roll of duct tape had been found on top of his clothes.<p>

Luka found this story to be very curious.

* * *

><p>It could probably be assumed that, due to her string of bad luck concerning the opposite gender, it wasn't too surprising that Luka had not been opposed to a change of pace.<p>

Luka had never really thought about it before, but after her upperclassman Masuda Lily asked her out, she didn't think it'd be so bad to date a girl. Sure, homosexuality was something that many people would raise an eyebrow at (at the very least), but at this point, she was a little sick of boys, and she didn't think there was any harm in just hanging out with a girl. If something happened, she reasoned, something would happen. And if not, well... then it wouldn't. Lily (she had insisted on being called by first name) had understood that it was a little hard for a girl to suddenly think about going out with another girl on a date, so she had been reasonable and offered to maybe just spend some time at a coffee shop together. Luka had agreed, already knowing of a wonderful café close to their school that she and Miku tended to frequent. So after school on Friday, they decided they would go there. Luka texted Miku ahead of time to explain that she had a date and that the tealette should go on home without waiting for her.

Miku's reply of "Kk ^_^ Go get 'em, tiger!" had been just the encouragement she'd needed, and she felt glad to know that her best friend didn't think any less of her for trying out a date with another girl.

_Miku always knows how to make me feel better,_ she thought affectionately.

Their date, if one could call it that, started well enough. Despite Lily's penchant for being teasing and aggressive, she respected her personal space, and instead of pressuring her into anything she wasn't ready for, was content to just speak with her like a normal human being. Lily made her feel comfortable, and Luka felt as if she wouldn't really mind being with another girl. Besides, boys obviously weren't exactly a smashing success for her. Three strikes, after all, made an out.

They got ready to go home, and Lily offered to pick her up the next day in the afternoon, to have lunch and then maybe hang out and find something to do. Luka accepted the offer, saying that she would be free at noon. After she got home and started changing out of her clothes, her cell phone rang.

Luka picked up with a, "Hello?"

"Heya! So, how'd it go?"

Luka grinned at the sound of Miku's voice. "Well, we were just getting to know each other... It's my first time going out with a girl, after all. It... It went well."

"She didn't try anything, did she? I hear Lily-senpai can be pretty frisky when she wants to be..."

"Oh, no. She was nice enough, and she didn't come on too strong or anything."

"Well, that's good. But you lemme know if she does anything to you, and I'll beat her up for you!"

Luka giggled at Miku's vehemence. "Don't worry, I'm sure things will be fine."

"If you say so," Miku pouted dubiously. "But that aside, you gonna be free tomorrow? Or you got yourself another hot date?"

The pinkette rolled her eyes at the teasing tone at the end. "If you want to call it that. Lily-senpai said she wanted to hang out tomorrow around noon-ish."

"Ooh, progress! Big improvement already!"

She grinned. "I... suppose. We'll see how it goes."

"Kyaa~ so modest~! But don't lemme keep ya, you need your beauty sleep! I'll talk to you later, 'kay?"

"Un. Good night."

"Good night!"

* * *

><p>Luka woke up bright and early the next morning and got herself ready to go. By eleven-thirty, Luka was ready to head out, opting again for casual rather than dressy or anything. By twelve, she was ready, but her date was still absent. By twelve-thirty, she was starting to get a little impatient. By one, she was worried. At one-thirty, she received a call on her cell phone and jumped to answer it.<p>

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luka!" Miku's voice chirped, though she sounded a little like she had woken up not too long ago. "Sorry, don't mean to bug ya on your date, but I was just hoping you had Thursday's notes for English? I freaking suck at that stuff..."

The pinkette sighed, flopping onto the couch. "I do. And you can't be bugged on a date when you're not on one..." she said gloomily.

"What the- _Again?_ Oh, c'mon now..."

"My thoughts exactly..."

"Bah, whatever. Hey, that means you're free then, yeah?"

"Yup."

"Tell ya what, I'm starving right now. How about I buy some food and we just hang out at your place? Sound good?"

Luka smiled. "Y'know Miku, you're really sweet."

"Ah, it's what friends are for! Gimme like thirty minutes and I'll be over!"

"Alright."

True to her word, Miku was over in thirty minutes carrying a large bag of fast food, though Luka did notice she looked a little more tired than she usually did. The rest of the day was spent at Luka's house, scarfing down their lunch and some snacks, watching cheesy chick flicks, playing games, and then howling about how crappy Xbox 360s were when Luka's Xbox was afflicted by the Red Ring of Death.

Aside from that misfortune, Luka had to admit to herself that, really, she liked spending her time with Miku most anyway.

* * *

><p>When they went back to school on Monday, Luka heard that Lily-senpai was still sick with her cold. Apparently when she had gone to sleep on Friday night, somehow the window had pulled itself open and the air conditioning unit in her room had gone on full blast all night. The result had been she woke up on Saturday morning with a horrid cold that still hadn't gone away, though at least whatever angry ghost had turned on her air conditioning unit and left her window open hadn't returned...<p>

Miku had found the story to be quite fascinating.

Luka had as well, and a suspicion began to gnaw at the back of her head...

* * *

><p>After Luka's suspicion began, she began to take note of a pattern in her dates, including the two that followed after. Her fifth date was with an upperclassman named Sakine Meiko, who ended up mysteriously getting alcohol poisoning the day before their date. Suspiciously enough, Miku had called to hang out the next afternoon, seeming a little more tired than usual and smelling faintly of alcohol.<p>

While Megurine Luka was extremely dense when it came to romantic feelings aimed at her, she could be pretty sharp otherwise, and by this point, she was pretty sure she had the pattern down.

* * *

><p>This was her sixth date. Luka had been asked out by a girl in her year named Kamui Gumi, the younger sister of Gakupo. The location for their meeting had been most unusual: a maid café, where Gumi apparently worked part-time, though she tried to keep it a secret. Though, amusingly enough, she had shared that her father had visited the maid café once while she'd been working, leading to a rather awkward moment.<p>

Amusing detail aside, Luka sent out a mental apology to Gumi as she informed Miku that she had a date with Gumi that day and that she should go on home without her. Miku's response had been predictably cheerful, right up to the moment that they hung up.

At the moment, Luka was seated at a table near the door, sipping on a nearly empty glass of ice coffee. It hadn't been too busy today, so Gumi had been able to sit with Luka and chat. The green-haired girl was a lively, energetic sort, and always became extra passionate whenever she spoke of the anime or manga or games she loved so much. Luka smiled in amusement at her, finding the fact she was a closet otaku to be quite cute. At the end of her shift, Gumi glanced at her watch and grinned.

"I'm off now! Just gimme a sec, Megurine-san! I'll be right back!"

With that, she headed off for the employee changing room. Luka smiled gently at her retreating back, but the smile faded as she turned to face forward again. The pinkette brought out her cell phone and looked at the time. If she wasn't back in ten, she would know something was up. Luka drummed her fingers on the table, sipping her drink and gazing out the window and occasionally stealing glances at her phone.

There really wasn't any way for her to deny this very real possibility. Sure, it was all circumstantial at best, and there was of course the slim possibility that this could all be chalked up to a long series of coincidences, but Luka was quite doubtful of that. And if she was right...

Luka glanced at the clock and noticed that ten minutes had passed, and there was no sign of Gumi. She sighed. She'd been "stood up" again, and now it was time to confirm her suspicion. She purposefully stood up and strode to the employee changing room. Without bothering to knock, she opened the door and stepped inside.

"Oh! Uh, hi Luka!"

Luka folded her arms over her chest. "Miku. I might have known."

Said teal-haired girl was standing in the locker room, hands behind her as she glanced around before pointing at herself comically. "Who, me?"

"As far as I know, you are the only Miku in the room."

Silence fell over them, broken only by what sounded like muffled screams for help. Miku grinned innocently at her friend, and Luka sighed.

"Miku."

"Yes, Luka?"

"I've come to realize something."

"Oh yeah? What's up?"

"I've realized that so long as you are determined to sabotage all of my dates, that means the only one I can date is you."

"Sabotage?" Miku asked with surprise, though her posture remained relaxed. "Who, me? Now why would I ever do a thing like that?"

The muffled screams for help hit a crescendo just as she'd finished saying that.

Luka rolled her eyes, though an affectionate smile still tugged insistently at her mouth. "Pick me up at one tomorrow. Don't be late."

With that, she turned to walk away. A light blush stained her cheeks as she shook her head lightly. Well, in all honesty, she had the most fun when she was with Miku anyway. So really, she supposed this wasn't bad at all.

As she reached the door to the locker room, she remembered something. "Oh, and Miku?'

"Yes?" Miku looked much happier than she'd ever seen her before.

Luka's mouth was shaped into an amused smile. "Please let Gumi out of that locker before she suffocates."

* * *

><p><em>Fin<em>

* * *

><p>This... was like a combo of writer's block and breaking out of writer's block. I don't even know... seriously. XD I got the idea for this fic from somewhere, I think it mighta been another fic on this site, or somewhere else... or maybe it was a manga? Hell, I don't remember, and that kinda bugs me. XD I was trying to go for a slightly more subtle-ish MikuLuka here, I hope I did okay. These past two weeks at work have been brutal x_X;

But whining and excuses aside, I hope you guys like this one! Please review and lemme know what you think! 'Til next time, and hopefully with no writer's block on the way... -_-;


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